[terriA]

I am in a wirlwind of emotions my husband has denied it all the way and now he is being sumoned to court for perternity test to determin if he is the father of the married womans baby that he has had an affair with. there has been posible others in the past that he has been with. the signs where ther but i had chose not to even think that this could happen to me, i believed that my husband loved me he wouldnt do this to me. No not me. ya now look what has happend. it gets worse the married woman that he had the affair with has herpies, yes i said herpies. i went to the doctor to be checked and there is nothing noticable as of yet. she wount know untill something showes up. aint that a b--ch. any one have some advise. i have been consulting with my paster it helps my spiritual side and it keeps me from comitting a crime.

[Mistaken Identity]

I would take it one day at a time. I wouldn't sleep with my husband. Actually, I would kick him out of the house. Who said the MW has herpes?

[Seen_It_All]

Gotta love a selfish, self-centered as*shole who thinks with his d*ck, don't we?

Firstly, I've read that there's a blood test for Herpes, why didn't your doctor give you that? I'm surprised she simply didn't 'see' anything, and therefore told you she couldn't give you an answer. I'd get a second opinion, pronto.

Secondly, you had better SERIOUSLY consider getting to a lawyer YESTERDAY to protect your financial status as far as your children go (if you have any).

Here's the thing - if your husband is proven to the be the father of this child, then this woman is probably going to immediately petition for child support. Don't know how old the kid is, but she may also be entitled to BACK child support, all depending on the laws in your state (assuming you're in the US). It's imperative that YOU have child support in place - from your H - before HER child support order gets enacted. Whoever petitions for child support FIRST gets the lion's share of his salary. Those filing for child support AFTER the first person in line gets LESS of his salary.

You need to speak to a lawyer NOW before your finances are seriously compromised by this woman. For instance, in NY state, did you know that child support can be carried out until a child is 23 YEARS OLD if he's going to college full time???? All depending on where you live, you could be looking at paying child support for 21 to 23 YEARS.

GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW. Consult an attorney NOW to see how you can protect yourself and your children financially.

Deal with the fallout of your H's disgusting behavior after you've found out what your rights are. I can't stress this enough, Terri.

[mental_traveller]

You can test for herpes, as part of any general STD test/checkup. When I went for one the results came after 1 and 2 weeks.

Since your husband was not using protection, and this married woman is clearly promiscuous, I would not sleep with your husband until you have both had an HIV test. This takes a little over 3 months to get the full results.

I suggest kicking him out or at the very least not sleeping in the same room until you both get your full test results back.

[tweldy]

Two things, in this order:
1. Lawyer. A consultation is not expensive, your financial well-being may be at stake if your husband is determined to be the father. Please talk to a laywer.
2. Tests for Herpes, HPV (warts), Syphalis (sp?), and HIV are CRITICAL. There are other VDs, but Herpes, HPV, and HIV have no cures, and Syphalis is making a comeback and can be just as deadly and incurable as AIDS in the late stages. You husband must also take these tests. This is dangerous territory.

Another note:
This is an exceedingly awful situation for you. Please take care of yourself. You may need counseling and/or anti-depressant medication to get through this and should not feel ashamed for needing this sort of treatment. This is your husband's fault, not yours.

[MrsHellFire]

Why have you NOT gotten a divorce yet?