This seems impossible

Guest

so me and my girlfriend both go to a Christian school, and we've been dating on and off for a couple years but I've had alot more relationships than she has had by far. we've kinda been holding off on each other all these years and finally we were official. so its been about 3 months now.

my girlfriend is prude. she believes in "purity". i have different beliefs

we got into the habit of grinding on each other and she told me she didnt want to do that anymore cause she felt like she was having sex with me. i would always stop when she told me to stop but she just enjoyed it so much that whenever we had alone time i would always seem to be able to convince her to grind on me some more(without words of course) but other than that we havent done anything more. one night i just couldnt take it anymore and i started progressing to other things as she got more arroused and started using my hands and eventually i didnt finger her but i was stroking it....then she said stop and was feeling really guilty i thought she was going to cry

i really love this girl and physical part of our relationship can wait because it did for several years but i feel that im 18 now and going to college and think that its going to be a minimum of 3-4 years before i want to get married. we both believe in not having intercourse before we get married but after she got all guilty about that one night its all touching off limits. ive tried everything we have gone to flower gardens to talk alone, and over dinner and talked at my house about this issue several times and she wont budge and i dont know what to do. i told her its ok if you dont want to go this fast right now but im not sure if i can do this for months, years. its hard enough holding off for a week since im still in highschool and she lives about 25 miles away.

i tried to explain that i dont think a relationship can just work on an emotional level. but it hurts me that we have to talk about this because i feel like its destroying our relationship. i have taken everything so slow with her. i have no idea what to do, leaving her is not an option but also just making out is not doing it for me. i cant explain to you the sexual tension there is with me now after her turning the heat down on our relationship. how can she just take me there and say no more its not fair to me at all.

i feel like i do everything for her to, i dont get to party anymore or get high anymore i quit all that im just with her on weekends now. i bought her tulips, roses, orchids, perfume, dinners, and even a ride in a fighter jet. and i dont usually have selfish thoughts and think of myself much but i feel like i deserve more. what sucks most is finally i have a deep emotional relationship yet she doesnt want to put the icing on the cake with the physical part.