Your actions will not be forgotten, but their impact will continue to diminish while what I've learned from them strengthen me.
I come away with a much better sense of myself - and knowing that I can love more intensely than I ever imagined.
Wishing you happiness is futile - you will bring on yourself whatever you will. I do hope you don't destroy yourself - you are amazing in so many ways - it will be more than just my loss - please find what you want and need.
I loved you with my whole heart and it is with that same heart that I forgive you.
That is awesome that you can forgive her. That is the last stage of my "recovery" that I am now focusing on. You now hold no resentment, how amazing that must feel!
Fooled,
I admire you. You have taken control of every emotion. Yes, they reveal thmeselves sometimes, but you consistently prevail. That amazes me that anyone can do that. That despite your feelings, you can know whats best, and say the things that need to be said to her. And afterwards, forgive everything to let yourself go. I want your strength, your resolve, and you determination for happiness.
I hope to soon meet you in that place soon.
Fooled,
I admire you. You have taken control of every emotion. Yes, they reveal thmeselves sometimes, but you consistently prevail. That amazes me that anyone can do that. That despite your feelings, you can know whats best, and say the things that need to be said to her. And afterwards, forgive everything to let yourself go. I want your strength, your resolve, and you determination for happiness.
I hope to soon meet you in that place soon.
If you have honestly resolved to sticking to what is best for you, nothing is impossible
Thanks, all. It really stemmed from a conversation with a friend I had last night wherein I was told I was obsessing and I need to forgive my ex. Not for her, but for me. Not forgiving her is not hurting her - it's only hurting me.
So today I listed everything she did that hurt me. I didn't including my feelings, just the deeds. Then I listed everything I got from the relationship. After that, I wrote her a letter getting every last feeling out and ending with my forgiveness.
This was part of a little ceremony. I wrote the letter between candles and on the place on the couch we would sit. Then I burned the letter and spread the ashes outside in the place she would park.
I'll be honest, I came in a cried a lot. Haven't been that weepy since the Anger Letter. But it's done. I believe I have connected my head and heart finally.
However, 2020 - I don't "feel" much different. I didn't feel a weight lift. I just believe that everything will be okay. You're hot, by the way.
Sick, thank you very much for your support. I do expect up days and down days. She is still not completely out of my thoughts. But it is different.
Rosalind - It's taken just over 3 months. But I have done intensive self-examination. I've changed my life completely. Therapy - talking with friends, LS almost religiously at first. I have done a lot of work and it's mostly been in one direction - towards getting healthier. That process itself was obsessive. My whole journey is documented here if you're interested - just search for threads I've started. Also, you look very Lara Croftian in your avatar.
However, 2020 - I don't "feel" much different. I didn't feel a weight lift. I just believe that everything will be okay. You're hot, by the way.
I know exactly what you mean...My ex apologized to me over the phone about a month ago. I refused to say "apology accepted" because I did not feel it was heart felt and I guess I just thought hearing those words "I apologize" would make me feel different and they did not. Thinking about forgiving someone and actually feeling that way are two very different things.
Thanks, all. It really stemmed from a conversation with a friend I had last night wherein I was told I was obsessing and I need to forgive my ex. Not for her, but for me. Not forgiving her is not hurting her - it's only hurting me.
So today I listed everything she did that hurt me. I didn't including my feelings, just the deeds. Then I listed everything I got from the relationship. After that, I wrote her a letter getting every last feeling out and ending with my forgiveness.
This was part of a little ceremony. I wrote the letter between candles and on the place on the couch we would sit. Then I burned the letter and spread the ashes outside in the place she would park.
I'll be honest, I came in a cried a lot. Haven't been that weepy since the Anger Letter. But it's done. I believe I have connected my head and heart finally.
However, 2020 - I don't "feel" much different. I didn't feel a weight lift. I just believe that everything will be okay. You're hot, by the way.
Sick, thank you very much for your support. I do expect up days and down days. She is still not completely out of my thoughts. But it is different.
Rosalind - It's taken just over 3 months. But I have done intensive self-examination. I've changed my life completely. Therapy - talking with friends, LS almost religiously at first. I have done a lot of work and it's mostly been in one direction - towards getting healthier. That process itself was obsessive. My whole journey is documented here if you're interested - just search for threads I've started. Also, you look very Lara Croftian in your avatar.
CG - I'll give you a shout soon.
Interesting thing about forgiving and letting go. When you forgive someone you cut the ties that bind you to them. You are no longer seeking anything from them and you gain your own closure.
Gratz, Fooled. I'll be around over the weekend. Lotsa work to do around the garage.
I know exactly what you mean...My ex apologized to me over the phone about a month ago. I refused to say "apology accepted" because I did not feel it was heart felt and I guess I just thought hearing those words "I apologize" would make me feel different and they did not. Thinking about forgiving someone and actually feeling that way are two very different things.
Thank you!
I didn't accept her apology when she called 2 weeks ago either - I told her I don't care. I don't care if she's sorry and I don't care if she's not - and if she's looking to relieve a little guilt she should call her therapist or one of her boyfriends.
I was angry then. I was angry yesterday. Today I haven't been. I said that I forgive her, I mean to forgive her, I want to forgive her and I believe I do - eventually that determination will lead to the true peace of forgiveness. I don't feel that peace of mind yet.
Exactly, I felt it was just a way for him to get it off his conscience for how he treated me. Speak of the devil, he just emailed me saying that he looked at my myspace saying that I am "looking hotter than ever" but he also said this: "if for some weird reason you want me to call you, let me know. But drop the high and mighty attitude, you are not fooling me." I know I should not open his emails, but oh well...it did not really effect me.
You have an amazingly positive attitude. I admire that. Keep it up!
Fooled, you're a better person than I am. Congrats! I'm at the same timeline as you, and I'm not even close to being in any sort of forgiveness stage. Actually, the sadness is still eating me alive.
__________________ I feel good enough
its been such a long time coming, but I feel good -- Evanescence
2020, you did not take over my thread - you added to it. I've never felt ownership to a thread anyway.
Jencakes, I am not a better person than you. I was very very sad before I made the decision to forgive her. In fact, I didn't want to. As I said, I was convinced it was to MY benefit to do it. And that is why I have taken on this challenge. And it IS a challenge.
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By the way, did not mean to change/take over your thread!! sorry....
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