In the normal course of dating, how long is it reasonable to wait until you ask for exclusivity? I just need an arbitrary number... in terms of time, number of dates, whatever. Also, is it appropriate to ask him if he's been sleeping with anyone else too???
You know, cuz I want to go exclusive with Steve, but I have this paranoia against seeming clingy, obsessed or overly attached... and he has so many of our female friends on his jock... I'm afraid he'll just laugh...
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"If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now."
But I wait for when that vibe happens and you just know you're both on the level. Which has obviously worked out great for me. /sarcasm.
I'd think if you feel weird or insecure about it it's prolly not the right time yet. Explore this desire to go exclusive. Why? What's motivating you? IS he reciprocating?
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I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.
But I wait for when that vibe happens and you just know you're both on the level. Which has obviously worked out great for me. /sarcasm.
I'd think if you feel weird or insecure about it it's prolly not the right time yet. Explore this desire to go exclusive. Why? What's motivating you? IS he reciprocating?
The vibe is tricksy because he creates it whenever we're together. He has that whole sultry feline sensuality thing down to a science. It's hard to go by that when he does it naturally.
What's motivating me? I like him a whole lot and I'm not interested in being with anyone else. He's so confusing... sometimes he's all there with me 100% and sometimes he seems so distant... I don't know if he does it because his interest level comes and goes, or if he, like, reconsiders things from time to time and backs off because I play it too cool or too hot or what! AAAGGGHHH. Someone please read his mind...
The vibe is tricksy because he creates it whenever we're together. He has that whole sultry feline sensuality thing down to a science. It's hard to go by that when he does it naturally.
What's motivating me? I like him a whole lot and I'm not interested in being with anyone else. He's so confusing... sometimes he's all there with me 100% and sometimes he seems so distant... I don't know if he does it because his interest level comes and goes, or if he, like, reconsiders things from time to time and backs off because I play it too cool or too hot or what! AAAGGGHHH. Someone please read his mind...
Well, that sounds like ALPHAMALE's guide to being desired by women. 50% emotionally distant ******* 50 % extremely attentive lover.
I think when you start sleeping with someone that you are exclusive..
In your case it is going to be tough at all to get any kind of exclusivity just because to him it will mean not sleeping with more than one woman.
Have you felt him out on whether or not he is ready to give up sleeping with multiple people ?
I don't even know if he's screwing anyone else. I'm afraid to ask. Maybe he'll think I'm being weirdly fatal-attractiony? We don't really talk about those things... we just sleep together and get cuddly and affectionate and enjoy each other's company... I spend days on end at his house... but his house is an ultimate bachelor pad party house/stopover for everyone we know, including female friends, and I just don't know...
I'm planning on re-adjusting the ratio to 55/45, respectively.
Don't do it, man. Look what it's doing to me. Do I look happy to you? Does it look like this is winning him any points with me? For god's sake, I'm about to accept that marriage proposal and make off with that guy in New York. If Steve doesn't give soon, he's gonna lose me. I need love, not games.
Don't do it, man. Look what it's doing to me. Do I look happy to you?
sorry, but I cannot take anyone with the initials of BBQ seriously
Quote:
Originally Posted by a-c
But in the same token I don't think that WE are exclusive and only expect that if the talk happens..
with men, sexual exclusivity and emotional exclusivity can be seperated. I generally will not **** two women concurrently either....but until the dreaded "talk" I reserve the right to casually see other women without sexaul activity
I have always found that the talk happens all by itself without any pushing and if it hasn't happened then the time isn't right yet.
OK. Great. I'm gritting my teeth and bottling it all up inside, then. So in the meantime, what do I do? Do I start seeing other people on the side? In our inbred little circle of friends I have a few good prospects... but we all attend the same functions and it seems kind of distasteful to show up to, say, an art expo with one guy and have to walk over to a crowd of your friends and greet everyone you're also currently sleeping with The term "village bicycle" comes to mind...
If I stay "faithful" I look pathetic... if I sleep around the circle I'm a whore not worth going exclusive with... if I date others outside our group I'm a traitor and extraneous by association...
What course of action right now would win me more points? I'm in a pickle.
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