I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I am 18 he is 22. Recently we split up for a week during which I got off with two boys, which I told him about, but we are now back together. I am feeling really sad today because it feels like he cant be bothered with me. For example last night he finsihed work at ten last night and asked me to go up his house with him, when we got up there all he wanted to do was watch the tv, and really couldnt be bothered with me.

I want to make this work so much but its like he is taking me for granted,in september I am going to live away at uni, so you'd think he make a effort to spend his time doing stuff with me. In his spare time he goes surfing, which I just have to sit and watch and he goes to the gym with his mate and wont let me come, I feel so much like second best.

Does anyone think I am being stupid or is he being a bit cruel to me. We broke up because there was three rumours of him with different girls. I dont trust him, and am wondering if he is being unfaithfull.

Please can anyone give me advice, it would be great because I am going insane and want to save this relationship, we havent even made love for at least a fortnight, I am worried that I will stray, if things dont get better. All I want is a bit of love, is that to much to ask for?

[Tony T]

You say you don't trust him, so why do you want a relationship with him. You base your distrust on nasty rumors...not even confirmed. Wow...you are a love!!!

In September you are going away to school, so why should he want to spend time to get closer to you only to become broken hearted. He knows you well enough to know that while you are away from him, you will stray. Even you expressed concerns you would stray if things don't get better...and how much worse could they get than a geographical separation.

You are never going to control this guy so why try. I don't think he's being cruel to you, I think he's trying to send you a message you seem reluctant to receive.

The message is he doesn't want to be hurt after you leave for school and right now he wants to invest his time in activities that will not be so taxing on his emotions.

I know you say you want to save the relationship but I don't see anything to save. You don't trust him, you believe rumors of his unfaithfulness, he doesn't pay attention to you when you are alone with him at his apartment, he prefers surfing and doesn't invite you and he likes to spend more time with mate without you around. ARE YOU SEEING THE PICTURE YET???

Perhaps you should find another playmate for the summer. Good luck at the university.