I have posted many times on this subject and still dont know what to do! I am engaged to a man that I have nothing in common with at all, we clash constantly, but I love him very much and don't want to hurt him! Also over 2 years ago we split up and during that time, I slept with my ex step brother which was truly amazing and unforgettable. Well 7 months ago the ex step brother decided he was moving down south and asked me to come with him, he said I had a decision to make, meanwhile I am living with fiance. I never cheated on fiance but continued to talk to ex step borther since fiance never knew anything like that happend since it was when we broke up. Well after the step brother moved away I never heard from him again, I talk to his father and relay messages but he never calls. I feel lost now! If I break it off with Fiance how will he ever know? I think I may have hurt him a great deal or he was playing games, which I would think he would do to me. Im lost someone give me some advice!!! I don't want to make a big mistake! Me and step brother have a lot in common so much that its scary! Help!

[longlegzs80]

Geez, your ex step brother has ALOT of nerve when he knows you have a fiance your currently with. First off, if you truely LOVE your fiance, you need to tell your ex step brother that what we had in the past was wonderful, but I am in love with my fiance and need him to move on. Stay strong. Or if you have feelings for your ex step brother, then you need to stop leading your fiance on and end the relationship that the both of you have. Pick one or the other. To me it sounds like you don' twant to hurt your fiances feelings, and that is why your staying with him but don't lead him on either. That isn't the way to treat anyone.

My biggest advice to give is to stick to your heart and STAY STRONG in your decision. If your complete opposites with your fiance and your not pleased with the relationship, then you need to leave.

[amaysngrace]

i guess you and your ex step brother do have a lot in common...your family. this sounds a bit like incest to me.

[lulu2go]

Firstly consider this; is your fiance the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. By the sounds of it you already know what to do about the fiance situation, so do it already. Better now than after your married.. maybe with children involved. You said you don't want to hurt your fiance but you will hurt him much more if you marry him even though you weren't sure all along. Thats not fair to him, tell him how you feel.

As for your ex step brother, well.. why don't you leave that on the back burner till you sort yourself out? One step at a time I say..

[Sal Paradise]

I'd consider your contact (whether over the internet or by phone) with the step brother while you're with your fiance to be cheating. You obviously have feelings for him so your contact with him is emotional cheating.

You should end it with your fiance so he can find a real woman. Hopefully one that hasn't sleep with ex step siblings.

[Tim'sAngel]

First of all... Anytime you mix with family, be it though marriage or incest... your asking for trouble

Second of all, if your engaged to someone and wanting to be with or stay in contact with someone you were with, that isn't being fair to your fiance. It also shows that you're not ready to be totally commited to one person.

Thirdly, I personally can't stand to be with men I don't have anything in common with. You're going to get bored with each other if you don't share common interest or goals.

And #4, I SERIOUSLY doubt the reason you're ex step brother isn't keeping in contact with you is because you hurt him. He obviously got tired of waiting for round #2 and moved on. Trust me, if a man really wants to be with you, sexually or for any other reason, he WILL get in contact with you.

Anyways, theres my 2 cents. Good luck!

Originally Posted by Tim'sAngel

First of all... Anytime you mix with family, be it though marriage or incest... your asking for trouble

Second of all, if your engaged to someone and wanting to be with or stay in contact with someone you were with, that isn't being fair to your fiance. It also shows that you're not ready to be totally commited to one person.

Thirdly, I personally can't stand to be with men I don't have anything in common with. You're going to get bored with each other if you don't share common interest or goals.

And #4, I SERIOUSLY doubt the reason you're ex step brother isn't keeping in contact with you is because you hurt him. He obviously got tired of waiting for round #2 and moved on. Trust me, if a man really wants to be with you, sexually or for any other reason, he WILL get in contact with you.

Anyways, theres my 2 cents. Good luck!

I would have to say that this is not incest....We have a strong connection and are not related by any means! Yes my Fiance and I have nothing in common and me and the ex-step brother do. But love Fiance very much, Im just very much so lost at the present moment. I jsut need to talk to ex step brothe and tell him my feelings is all!!! But I am starting to realize that may never happen!