Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I dunno where this topic should go, but this seems most relevant...
So I've been with this girl for about three months now. I'm her first love, and pretty much her first real serious relationship. She's a wonderful girl; a virgin to everything - sex, drugs, etc. She's also very mature and has a wonderful sense of humour. However, due to the fact that she is still bound by law to her parents, she's not allowed to see me. Her mother doesn't want her dating. She also doesn't let her hang out with guys (period), or stay the night at girl friends' houses. And I can't remember a single time she hung out with her friends without her mother there. She can't go to dances either. She's pretty much completely sheltered. I love her (or think I do).
Then there's this other girl. Same age. She also has a unique sense of personality about her. She's been through a lot. Used to do drugs, used to smoke, used to cut, father hits her when he gets drunk sometimes (whereas my current girlfriend is virgin to all this, except emotional neglect from her parents). I've grown quite fond of this girl and plan on spending the weekend with her (not sexually). With this girl, I'd be able to see her. And along with seeing her, comes touching her, getting to know her, spending quality time together.
I've driven myself insane about this over the past 12 hours. I've been up for a total of 18 hours now, and have tried getting to sleep, but can't. I've gotten to the point where I'm almost physically ill from it.
I need advice. Genuine, guiding advice. Should I break up with my current gf? Or play both situations out and see where they go? Though I don't think either girl deserves to be 'played' like that... If there's any blank or fuzzy spots that I might not have covered well, please just ask.
Illegal!!! At least in the United States - can't you find anyone your own age?
Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney.
And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement...
dude this is some serious none judge-mental advice. girl #1 her life is to sheltered for you and getting involved with her could lead to trouble for you. girl # 2 is a bad risk, she has to many issues and being a cutters is serious. Advice find another girl.
dude this is some serious none judge-mental advice. girl #1 her life is to sheltered for you and getting involved with her could lead to trouble for you. girl # 2 is a bad risk, she has to many issues and being a cutters is serious. Advice find another girl.
Thanks for the advice. As long as you stay on-topic, I'm cool with it.
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Well here's what happened.
Spent two nights wtih girl # 2. She seems like a really great person. And ya, she does have quite a few issues, but I'm pretty optimistic about the situation. It seems to be going well. I'm definitely going to keep some sort of guard up, but I think huz68qog is entirely right about the situation. However, I'm an idiot and I'm gonna with this girl, and probably end up back here in a few months. Heh.
life is about taking chances, just don't bit off more than you can chew dude. lastly if you really like this girl, you know that you going to have to be there for her mental and emotionally due to her unstableness. be concerned and aware, in what ways do you like her? most girl who come from abuse and neglect families tend to act out by engaging in sex, alcohol and drugs, it helps to over look their real problem. don't take advantage.
Girl #2 you don't really know that well. She has alot of baggage and problems. She may seem cool and the 'bad girl' now, alot of fun - But trust me, as time goes on, she is going to have problems...Which will then in turn, become YOUR problem.
Girl #1 has your heart. If you want her in your life as a good friend, someone to talk to, someone to wait for abit longer so her folks can get to know you, then wait and see what happens. Don't be in such a rush to get into a relationship with her. At 16 years old, living a sheltered life due to her parents being too clingy, she needs time ... Do you like her enough to stick around? Or is the Girl #2 too HOT for you so you'd rather go have fun now?
Take the time to THINK about this before you go and do something you may regret.
life is about taking chances, just don't bit off more than you can chew dude. lastly if you really like this girl, you know that you going to have to be there for her mental and emotionally due to her unstableness. be concerned and aware, in what ways do you like her? most girl who come from abuse and neglect families tend to act out by engaging in sex, alcohol and drugs, it helps to over look their real problem. don't take advantage.
That last bit of info was very well-said. In fact, she wanted to have sex over the course of those days. (We were fooling around; y'know the routine.) She asked if I had condoms (which surprised me of her, 'cause usually girls with all those issues don't care enough about themselves to ask that). Well I intentionally didn't bring any because 1) I didn't want her to feel like she was being used, and 2) I believe it's too soon for that. So I told her, "I really like you. A lot. But we both need to go a little slower if we'd like this to last longer than just this weekend. Let's not get in over our heads."
And ya, I'm pretty willing to "deal with" her problems. I've been the rock and motivation for every single one of my relationships. My first major girlfriend was an ex-cutter, ex-smoker, etc., etc. I helped through all of that.
Thank you guys, for your input. I plan on using these forums in the future.
I am currently going through something somewhat similar. My girlfriend who was the center of my universe for 2.5 years had been cheating with another guy (decent fellow though) we didn't know about each other. Anyway it sounds like girl #1 needs to be able to live her sheltered life go off to college and make her own choices as to how she wants to live her life. Instead of having an older guy take advantage of her and screw her up before she has a chance to succeed in life. Don't take girl#1's innocence cause she'll never get it back. Girl#2 sounds a little like my ex who I still love and care for and think about every minute. Stay away from #2 girl because even if you can take her mental load, you don't want to catch some microorganisms from her acting out behaviors. Sounds like 3 people ready to mess each other up to me.
Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney.
And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement...
Illegal is on topic. DON'T TRY TO CENSOR SOMETHING YOU JUST DONT WANT TO HEAR.
Shame on you..it seems as if both of these girls provide you the opportunity to have some sort of control or superiority over them....
Girl 1 - sheltered (new to everything)
Girl 2 - needy (dad abusing her, drugs etc)
I hope you are found out and the 'law' which binds these girls also protects them.
Well with girl #2, she's not as f***** up as you think. She's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. And I've been screwed over in the past by girls who thought they knew what they were doing, when they really didn't. "You're too good for me; that's why I cheated. Blah blah blah." What's wrong with having a girl that appreciates the things I do for her genuinely? Is this girl supposed to never have anyone to care for her? It's better that she's with me than an abusive, controlling, drug-addict boyfriend...
And actually, the law can only go so far. Her mother loves me and wouldn't press charges.
Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney.
And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement...
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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