Hello,
I came on here to read some of the posts the other night when I was going through something really terrible. I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months...and Wed. night he just totally freaked out. He was supposed to come over, and about 9pm, he text messaged me telling me he was about to go to bed. That was really odd, because he is not one to go to bed early. I kept asking what was the matter...and he kept just saying he was sleepy. So finally I just called him, and said "I think you need to tell me what's going on." I noticed at that point that his voice was slurring. I said "Are you drunk?" He said "Yes."

I knew he was at home watching a movie...because I had driven past there on my way to work. I asked him why he just didn't tell me that he wanted to go home and drink...and he told me that he had had a very weird day. He said that since we had started dating, girls from his past...three of them had emailed to ask how he was. He said he didn't reply to them...but that he is tormented with thoughts of why one or two of those relationships ended. He said he doesn't take it as them just wanting to see how he is...but actually, just that they "want" something from him...i.e maybe to renew their relationship.

While he was drunk he proceeded to tell me that he was falling in love with me, but he is haunted by a world of "what-if's". He doesn't want to date other people...and he doesn't want to be without me...but he had to tell me the truth. He said he always thinks..."what if I make a permanent decision, and then someone comes along and makes me question everything?" He said he has always had these thoughts. My questions is...isn't this natural? Doesn't everyone have those thoughts? Should I be worried that he may someday cheat on me...even though he says he has never done that to anyone and can't imagine EVER doing it?

I'm not afraid of the cheating I guess...but he could just up and DUMP me one day for someone else...before anything happens. Before this happend the other night, I had complete confidence in him. He came over Thursday, and begged me for a second chance, because I told him that I thought it might be best for me to just move on and not chance things. He explained to me that he just got scared because he really had strong feelings for me, and didn't know what to do with them. For the past two nights, he has been so attentive...so loving. He acts like he is completely entranced by me. What in the world should I think??? I am so confused right now...yet so in love with him. I can't mull it over in my head any longer...I just keep getting things tangled up. Can someone give me an objective viewpoint???

[Walk]

Depends on how long you two have been seeing each other, but I'd say he had a bad day and chalk it up to that. I know if my ex's contact me it really screws with my head. Even though I want nothing to do with them, it still puts me in a funk.

And if you've only been dating a couple of months, then you can't honestly expect him to profess his undying love for you for life. He shouldn't have said anything about "what if someone better.." And I think he realized he stuck his foot in his mouth on that one... but don't blow it out of proportion. He was drunk, he did have a bad day, and you pushed him for an answer right then when he had tried to say he wanted the night to himself.

Might help if you talked to him about this at another time. Let him clarify what he was trying to say that evening, and hopefully put any worries you may have to rest.

[Art_Critic]

Great Post Walk..