[fraidycat]

I've read lots of posts about people hurting and depressed over their breakups. What startles me is that most of them describe a relationship that was emotionally timulteous- Their partner was not affectionate or appreciative of them, or they made the needed changes for the better but their partner refused too.There was constant battles and arguments. Resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, in other words I see a lot of people hurting over the ending of a bad relationship. When you've grown attatched to someone and had good times with them it's hard to let go when the relationship suddenly becomes sour and because maybe one or both partners is not willing to do anything to fix it it stays that way. In reality we're all better off without relationships like that. Relationships shouldn't cause us constant overbearing stress, it shouldn't cause us to be insecure or doubtful of our partners. They shouldn't worry us sick or be love/hate and when they are they shouldn't any longer be a part of our lives. Too often people let their life/self identity become them(romantic relationships) and when a relationship that has boiled down to nothing but stress and heartache ends they are devestated. There's a brighter day out there for you reading this and in your future relationships don't let it get ot that point- if it becomes bad- fix it- if it's unsalvagable due to lack of trying or want; then end it before you drag yourself through the mud for who knows how many months? Don't rely on your emotions at all times because they can mislead you and sometimes you just need to get real.

[riobikini]

Brilliant! -and very well-put...with that 'get real' attitude and insight, you should post more often, -positive & constructive posters shooting for what is accomplishable within the bounds of reality, rather than the often disappointing ideal, or the fantastical , are sorely needed here.

Your offering of help is very welcome to some, I'm sure.

(Smile)

-Rio

[littlekitty]

That's a great post fc. I was guilty of this... miserable and stressed over a relationship that only caused me pain (a couple of years back this is!). I eventually found a great role model for what I saw as a good relationship and how it SHOULD be.

This allowed me to hold out for something good, someone that made me feel loved, cherished, secure and happy.

Now I'm happy everyday and I won't ever allow myself to fall into the trap of settling for less.

I wonder if it's a lack of relationship role models that contributes towards this tendancy to settle for less?