Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I am going to have a break down over this...Someone make it stop..
*SOB* *SOB *SOB*....
I honestly do not know what to do now.....
I am about fed up and tired of this nonsense. I have posted this issue before, I have tried talking to him about it, and the exact thing I thought would happen did happen......
He heard my problem, became vigilant about it for a week, and now yet again, here I am with this great yawning gap and tons of excuses.
(I am talking about the sex issue, or lack there of)
Headache man, remember him? He always has a headache or he is too tired....
I tried backing off, for weeks I didnt even let on when I was upset, needing it, angry at him (as one poster said, its about acceptance) I was and have been very light and casual...Havent been harping on him about anything, just calming my nerves and focusing inward....
The one thing I didnt want to do was turn this issue into another one of those issues that get talked about, changed for a week and then discarded again until I harped on him about it, and he changes and then it becomes a vicious cycle....
BUT it looks like its going to happen anyway...
I AM SO FRUSTRATED I FEEL LIKE RIPPING MY HAIR OUT....
Why is this happening to me???!!!
I am slowly dying inside, turning into a withered shell. I am actually crying right now, as I write this, because I am so frustrated....
and it looks like I am about to get my monthly soon so there is YET AGAIN another excuse....
Thing is, I am not an overly sexual person AT ALL..
But I do expect to be touched once and a while.....Not nagging someone into having sex with me, cripes, I feel like some weird perverted guy at a bar pushing his date to screw him in a car....its creepy....
I am not used to this and I am scared about our future together.....whats going on? any advice?
Oh yes, and he says he loves me, wants me always, wants a future, the same standard crap....a thought occured to me after i read another posters post....is he using me to be the GF and someone else to be the sex buddy??!
I dont know who you are or where you are ... but you just got inside my head. My guy is like that too except its not a headache...hes too tired unless of course I'm giving him head. I caught mine cheating several times .. is your bf cheating ?
What you have wrote is why I chose my name...I cant understand what is so wrong with me that he doesn't want to have sex and why he keeps cheating .
I really cant give you any good advice cause I dont know what to do myself. But maybe it will help knowing its not you.... its me too!!!!
Oh thank god someone is out there!! Thank you for responding, I thought I was going to flood the keyboard with snot and tears....
So you said that you caught your BF cheating? How? I have yet to catch mine, just alot of suspicious circumstances, that of course, dont add up to much without solid proof....
Look, its not about the sex.....its about the connection, feeling wanted, and desired and like a sensual human being....when that goes, you start to question yourself as a woman, it makes you feel strange, hurt, unwanted and empty. You think, why bother pretty much all the time. You turn into this weird asexual being that feels like some used up withered hag even though you are only in your 20's........You start to wonder if maybe that self confidence that had built up over the years before you met him was really just false self confidence, you feel like crying when someone, anyone pays you a compliment.......
bottom line, you feel uglier than ugly. Its one thing when a guy gets rejected for sex because its common place and at times they even expect it. Its quite another for a woman to get rejected.........it makes you want to not even look in the mirror....
its about the connection, feeling wanted, and desired and like a sensual human being
I know and it feels like crap when your not wanted. I dont even have any mirrors in my house except for the bathroom.
As for your guy cheating...if you feel it in your gut...you need to check.
I went for years just suspecting...he called my kids by the wrong name...after I really started checking (bills, following him) I found out not only was he seeing one other person but many one of which was my sister...Now you got me crying. This was 3 years ago and it still feels like it is right now. I really dont know what to say...if you dont have children try to get away from this guy. Most likely he wont make you feel any better. I'm not the best person to say leave though cause I left mine and came back to be rejected even more.
You know what, maybe it's not you. There may be something wrong with him. Maybe something is bothering him or it could be alot of other things you'll drive you're self crazy wondering about. I think you should sit him down and ask him seriously (like you mean business) what the f***k his problem is. If he thought you were ugly, he wouldn't be with you in the first place. I know this is a cold thing to say but he could be cheating on you.
So, when you talk to him, if he gives you the usual I've been tired or have had headaches.... or whatever, tell him if he doesn't pull his act together you're movin' on and won't take this any longer.
I think that if men beileve that love them unconditionally, and that you'll always be there no matter what they tend to take advantage of that.
My boyfriend did take me forgranted until I broke up with him and wouldn't take his calls for a week. It kinda freaked him out, so maybe you need to draw the line some where. Nobody deserves to feel the way he's been making you feel. Life is way to short...
Good luck!!!
Before you do anything rule out any physical problems.
Have him go to a urologist,get the blood work(testosterone levels checked), does he have prostrate problems? Does he sleep?There is a lot of help for this.If your guy loves you he will do this right away.
Is he depressed?
Only a trained physician can rule out the physical, then seek a phsycologist.
Just so you know I had extreme sleep apnea that was giving me grief.Lack of sleep can manifest several ugly things and one major one is sex drive.
NO...Good question, but I am NOT overweight at all.
believe me when I say this, IT IS NOT MEDICAL PROBLEMS. Trust me....I will get to the "whys" in a minute.....
And I have done the whole "i mean business" talk with him.....Like I said before, I have exhausted every possible option as far as this is concerned. I didnt want it to turn into one of those issues that is changed for a week and back to the same old crap, but apparently IT HAS....And I cant f-ing believe I am made to feel like some predator praying on my BF......
I have tried ignoring, withdrawing, long talks, short talks, reminders, taking initiative, hints, relaxing, massages, quality time, you name it.....
The messed up thing about this whole situation is I get propositioned almost DAILY on the streets, at work, at the store, whatever, by guys that seem genuinely (or not so genuinely) interested. I have gotten straight sex proposals, date proposals, marriage (!!!) proposals for gods sake and have turned every single one of these opportunities down......
Back to why I dont think it is a "mnedical" reason.....
Of course I got my monthly last nite and what do you think he wanted? SEX. AFTER he saw the pads in the trash, and the bag of them out in the bathroom. I never told him I had monthly, and he never asked, but I know for sure he knew. And he never announced he wanted sex, he was giving me all the signs for it, but of course I withdrew, because its a little too late for that, and it is awfully coincidental that he wants it now that nothing can be done about it. so it looks like its going to be a full other week of no sex.
By my calculations, we have sex about 4 times a month now.
By my calculations, we have sex about 4 times a month now.
hey you beat me on this one, if it's any consolation at all
Quote:
Originally Posted by too unreal
The messed up thing about this whole situation is I get propositioned almost DAILY on the streets, at work, at the store, whatever, by guys that seem genuinely (or not so genuinely) interested. I have gotten straight sex proposals, date proposals, marriage (!!!) proposals for gods sake and have turned every single one of these opportunities down......
oooh... <EB sits up straight all of a sudden> ...
freakin' smokes... i think yer a hottie!! D'ya mind if I proposition you
Seriously, wtf is wrong with him. Someone needs to shake him up a little.
The sad truth, though, is that some men are like this. It ain't none of yer fault. Some men will find that their woman have lost their appeal after they've slept with them. Personally I think it's a personality flaw. If it's so, then I suggest you don't put all your eggs in one basket.
oooh... <EB sits up straight all of a sudden> ...
freakin' smokes... i think yer a hottie!! D'ya mind if I proposition you
ha ha ha! Too cute!!
It isnt only guys out in the world, now its guys on LS too!! ha ha ha
Seriously, to tell the truth, alot of men hit on me, but I guess that just comes with being a girl......every woman gets hit on I guess....but the point is that I have to be at least a little easy on the eyes, why cant he see this?
Cant he feel how starved I am? (no, i guess not, I am not that obvious)
and to let you guys in on a little secret....even his cousins have hit on me, one even got in a fight with me and asked if I was in love with him, to give him a chance, we would work out good, his other cousins and friends have tried things on me and because I didnt want to make a big scene and be the drama girlfriend that breaks all the friends up, I shut my mouth, because my man would definately start an altercation, because he has a couple of times in the past when he sees things with his own two eyes.....
I just dont get it......I dont know if I can live with 4 times a month?
Is there EVER a good reason to lack of sex? Is it ever a positive reason??!!
NO, NO ,NO and NO...have you ever noticed women dont complain about lack of sex very often? usually men are always saying "she doesn't want to have sex."
NO, NO ,NO and NO...have you ever noticed women dont complain about lack of sex very often? usually men are always saying "she doesn't want to have sex."
EXACTLY.......It is VERY rare that a woman complains UNLESS she is a nympho or her SO is cheating.....Unless other women are experiencing these problems and have survived the relationship to tell about it....
Thats what makes it even more humiliating......that its more commonly a man problem......*sob*sob*sob*
Right....When a man brings up the problem of lack of sex, others either nod head in agreeance, or slap him on the back and tell him to get used to it. Its commonplace.
When a woman brings it up there is a thunderous silence, followed by lewd comments and dirty looks sprinkled with "whats wrong with her, she must have a disease or maybe she is really loose and bad in bed"......
OR "What a whore, she is probably screwing the whole neighborhood and that is why he doesnt want to have sex with her, poor guy, lets hate her"
So, there must be ONE option I havent exhausted.....tell me what you did to make it stop?
vibrators...no really I still am not over it, I just try to deal with it and ignore it. Believe it or not after reading your post I got soooo depressed. and of course I didn't get any last night either. Matter of fact he rolled over so he didn't have to touch me!
Basically I started reading here it makes me forget about him/it for a while. Some peoples stories are just off the wall.
Last edited by whats wrong with me; 17th March 2006 at 2:15 PM..
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I caught mine cheating several times
.. is your bf cheating
its me too!!!!
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