I'm going crazy here! I'm venting mostly. I'm a young 26 year old woman. I'm dating, I'm single and I love it! I work with 5 women...of course older than me that have the traditional theory that Marriage is a must.
In my opinion Marriage does not justify anything...
The women here at work try to explain to me that, I'll change my mind, I just have a front...I'm protecting myself from getting hurt!
Most marriages now adays are more than likely to end up in divorce. Divorce is taken more as a break up and as if it were normal. It's not.
Why is it that most people feel when you get to a point in life when you love someone 5-6 years down the road think that getting married is the next move? Why? Marriage doesn't promise anything? What's the big deal? I feel that most people have this Security thing and think that Marriage will keep their partner or gives them more comfort? When you love someone so much....why is their that feeling of "marraige"? Why can't a partnership be build and defined w/ out it?
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"Love is a heavy stone to carry when carried by only one person."
I feel that most people have this Security thing and think that Marriage will keep their partner or gives them more comfort? When you love someone so much....why is their that feeling of "marraige"? Why can't a partnership be build and defined w/ out it?
You can build a partnership with anyone regardless of marriage, but without the actual marriage, the partnership has it's limitations. First of all, socially people will accept that a husband and wife have a special committment to share each other's life goals, and it's more likely to be respected than the bf/gf relationship. Possibly even more important is the legal partnership. You husband would become your next of kin, legal family. Assuming you build a partnership with this man, then wouldn't he know you better than anyone. If some critical decision had to be made for you, wouldn't you want him to be the one to do it?
To me, it's a way to make our partnership that we really already have offical.
Why would a marriage be respected more than a gf/bf relationship? Why can't it just be respected? Legal partnership? In who's eyes? After 7 year relationship it's already a "common law marriage".
In my opinion, those people who nag and nag at you to get married are doing so because misery loves company. Or, because they view single women as a threat, because if they had the opportunities you have they'd be ho-ing around like crazy. OR because they define themselves by who they spread their legs for so you need to as well. Bottom line is, they very likely don't have healthy reasons to nag you to get married. It sucks, but you have to ignore.
In my opinion, those people who nag and nag at you to get married are doing so because misery loves company. Or, because they view single women as a threat, because if they had the opportunities you have they'd be ho-ing around like crazy. OR because they define themselves by who they spread their legs for so you need to as well. Bottom line is, they very likely don't have healthy reasons to nag you to get married. It sucks, but you have to ignore.
Seriously it's annoying! I get this like every other week! "buy why do u think this way?" "you have to get married" "nobody is going to want a woman who doesn't want to get married". It drives me nuts! Funny thing is that these women are either going through seperation, have had divorces (more than 2) and have had cheating husbands.....! I don't get it....it's like join the club!!!
No thanks! I'm not saying that if I get married that would happen...I'm just saying...I don't want to get married because I don't believe tha marriage would justify my love and relationship with my partner.
If my husband and I didn't want children we might not have bothered with marriage. But since we do, I think marriage is important. It makes us family and yes, gives us security. Some people do take their vows seriously.
If my husband and I didn't want children we might not have bothered with marriage. But since we do, I think marriage is important. It makes us family and yes, gives us security. Some people do take their vows seriously.
Oh, it's not about that. I think MOST people take their vows seriously. But that doesn't mean that a 26 year old girl should be panicking and on a constant desperate man-hunt because she's not married yet.
If my husband and I didn't want children we might not have bothered with marriage. But since we do, I think marriage is important. It makes us family and yes, gives us security. Some people do take their vows seriously.
Why IF? If you didn't get married? Would you still be with him, would you still concider him your family, your heart, your love? Marriage makes you family? A paper makes you family? A ceromony makes you family?
I thought family is build with trust, love and loyalty with your partner....
Why would a marriage be respected more than a gf/bf relationship? Why can't it just be respected? Legal partnership? In who's eyes? After 7 year relationship it's already a "common law marriage".
I'm not saying that a gf/bf relationship CAN'T be respected. There are certainly cases in people in gf/bf relationships are more committed then in a marriage. But, in general society does respect marriage more. For instance my fiance couldn't take sick time when I had surgery because I'm not his wife.
I'm not sure about all the laws of common law marriage, but I'm not sure that all the states recognize it. I am sure that you have to be actually acting like you are married, not just in a relationship.
Oh, it's not about that. I think MOST people take their vows seriously. But that doesn't mean that a 26 year old girl should be panicking and on a constant desperate man-hunt because she's not married yet.
Absolutely. I'm pointing out the benefits of marriage for a relationship. I don't believe that marriage should be a goal for anybody. If and when a woman happens upon the right man, then she can think about it. She definitely shouldn't let people put her down because she's not on a man-hunt. Sorry if I gave that impression.
Why IF? If you didn't get married? Would you still be with him, would you still concider him your family, your heart, your love? Marriage makes you family? A paper makes you family? A ceromony makes you family?
I thought family is build with trust, love and loyalty with your partner....
SECURITY??! .... Security of what?
First, I'm not harrassing you for not being married, and I expect the same courtesy.
Yes, actually the ceremony solidified us as family, in my opinion. It's the symbolism of the act. Sure, you can be family without being married, but that's not the way we wanted to do it. I'm sure tradition plays a major role in why I feel this way.
I do not think 26-year old women should be on desperate man-hunts nor did I say as much.
It is less complicated for them to have a married set of parents.
Also, even if you think common law applies after 7 years, you may be wrong about that. It depends on where you live.
medical decisions, inheritance, retirement plans, health plans, home ownership, credit. These are factors in marriage versus just living together.
Yeah, love should enter into the decision to be with someone far more than a piece of paper. But once you do decide to commit to someone, a lot of real world and practical decisionmaking has to occur.
And people figured out a long time ago that you can consolidate a lot of that decisionmaking into a marriage contract.
No one here said she should be man-hunting. Those women at her office said it.
I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with marriage. I just think that so many young women think it's going to magically fix their lives. It won't. Also, I think she should concentrate on her career, having fun and making good friends. The right man will come along when he comes along.
I told my BF I was fine with not being married as long as I was married before I was pregnant. I want to be married when I have a family, because I feel better about it that way.
I'm not taking this in any negative way. I don't feel I'm being harrassed at all...the women at my job is another story....I hate the feeling of having to explian my feelings and beliefs, especially to women that are seperated, going through divorce, have been married more than twice and so on....I mean even a young woman that is 3 years younger than me has her life set! She's been dating a guy her parent's hooked her up with and she has to be married in 2 years. With First child on the way. I mean....I guess a lot does have to do with tradition. My family and my mom totally believes in marriage.
I just don't believe that a piece of paper will define my relationship with my partner and BTW....I would call him my husband after a very long time (8-10yrs ) of being committed.
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Per Society...why is Marriage next?
I'm going crazy here! I'm venting mostly. I'm a young 26 year old woman. I'm dating, I'm single and I love it! I work with 5 women...of course older than me that have the traditional theory that Marriage is a must. 
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