this week has been awful for me, ive been crying non stop....im even crying now!
i lost my mum just over a year ago and i miss her so much it hurts.
on tuesday i had a car accident on the way to work which was my fault i was shaking like a leaf and was in a real state.......i really needed my mm !!
it turned out i had no car insurance and i was really scared.
mm phoned me, i was crying he was getting upset because he was miles away at work! he paid for my car insurance and said go home and calm down , it cost him over £1000 .
god i really needed him at that moment and although he was in a fashion , he wasnt really and it really hurt. now im really down and depressed and dont know which way to turn.....help.....any thoughts x
Perhaps my advice is not what you are looking for, but here goes.
Not too terribly long ago, I was going through the same emotional rollercoaster ride you are on. Some days I was strong, others I was quietly falling apart. But, for me, there came a point that it was entirely too painful for me to hold on any longer.
Now, that moment comes sooner for some than others. For me, it happened sooner than most people, probably, but later than I had hoped. But, the fact remains, there will come a time when it is the healthier thing to do by leaving this relationship.
No one can tell you when that is. Only you can decide that moment. But, know this...through the pain and tears to leaving, peace enveloped me when I finally let go.
I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but I offer my support to you regardless.
thanks walking away..i know in my heart of hearts that you are right!!
but i really do love this man, and cant ever believe that i could feel this for another and have honestly never loved anyone until now. but this whole relationship is such a strain on my heart, i fell so insecure all the time ....and for no reason why is this? xx
I am truly sorry about your mother. I know that on such anniversary days of a loved one's death, it is totally unbearable. So you know you have to "write off" the mistakes of the week....
But you might also think of her as a guardian angel, taking a look at what is going on from above, into her daughter's life....
Is THIS what you want her to be seeing? Not having your affairs in order? (PLEASE do not drive without insurance, ever), living in constant insecurity?, being emotionally and financially dependent on your MM? (VERY dangerous--you'll go into a spin-cycle of co dependency, and wipe out authentic love)...No, your mother's spirit, and your memory of her, should expect the BEST from you, and that is to be someone in charge of her own life.
Death brings a whopper of perspective to an individual, a reminder that you are going through this circus game called life once and that it is to be dealt with intelligently, maturely. Of course we take risks, go for passion, fall in and out of love--but NOT to the point of self destruction or eliminated self esteem.
So, my conclusion is, Lo, that perhaps the accident and all was...a sign?
I am truly sorry about your mother. I know that on such anniversary days of a loved one's death, it is totally unbearable. So you know you have to "write off" the mistakes of the week....
But you might also think of her as a guardian angel, taking a look at what is going on from above, into her daughter's life....
Is THIS what you want her to be seeing? Not having your affairs in order? (PLEASE do not drive without insurance, ever), living in constant insecurity?, being emotionally and financially dependent on your MM? (VERY dangerous--you'll go into a spin-cycle of co dependency, and wipe out authentic love)...No, your mother's spirit, and your memory of her, should expect the BEST from you, and that is to be someone in charge of her own life.
Death brings a whopper of perspective to an individual, a reminder that you are going through this circus game called life once and that it is to be dealt with intelligently, maturely. Of course we take risks, go for passion, fall in and out of love--but NOT to the point of self destruction or eliminated self esteem.
So, my conclusion is, Lo, that perhaps the accident and all was...a sign?
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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