Okay, so I had sex for the first time. I don't know what to think about it. I mean, it was nothing like I thought it was going to be. I don't know what to say the next time I get into that situation with my boyfriend. I don't necessarily want to tell him no, but I just feel that I want to make the next time I do have sex extra special. My first time just sorta happened and wasn't exactly a planned thing and I feel as if I was cheated out of something. I never told him it was my first time, so I don't think he realizes that I was sorta let down on what it all was. I also want to know if it ever does get better and how to tell him that I feel like I was cheated out of something my first time. I can't think of how I am to exactly supposed to tell him that I feel like something was missing without hurting him. Any suggestions?

[Tony T]

I'm a guy so I'll leave it to the ladies to give you their take on your experience.

I will say that for most people, men and women, their first experience is not quite what they expected. But I promise you it does get better with time and experience. It's also a plus in life not to have particular expectations about any event because reality so often cannot live up to those expectations.

So don't be too down on the sexual experience. Given your own experience and that of your lover, in time you can find lovemaking pleasant and memorable. If that doesn't happen for you, seek help.

The most memorable thing about my "first time" was how horrible it was. He knew it was my first time, he was experienced, we planned it way ahead (for 6 months), and when it happened: It was over so quick I was still waiting for something to happen. He made it all out to be my fault, as if I had done something wrong (I believed him), and it wasn't until years later that I learned about premature ejaculation ('cuz you just get sooo excited -- hell, I would have taken that as a compliment at the time), and about sex and about making it special. Don't worry though, it's almost 25 years later, and I'm having the best time (and sex) of my life. Your first time will always be memorable to you (no matter how it was), it will always be special because it was the first time, and you'll never forget about it, no matter how hard you try... It just keeps getting better and better.

Okay, so I had sex for the first time. I don't know what to think about it. I mean, it was nothing like I thought it was going to be. I don't know what to say the next time I get into that situation with my boyfriend. I don't necessarily want to tell him no, but I just feel that I want to make the next time I do have sex extra special. My first time just sorta happened and wasn't exactly a planned thing and I feel as if I was cheated out of something. I never told him it was my first time, so I don't think he realizes that I was sorta let down on what it all was. I also want to know if it ever does get better and how to tell him that I feel like I was cheated out of something my first time. I can't think of how I am to exactly supposed to tell him that I feel like something was missing without hurting him. Any suggestions?

Nobody's first time is all that great, even when it's planned. Dont be so down about it. It will get better.

I think you should be more honest with your boyfriend. If you are ready to be having sex you should be mature enough to discuss all of the issues that go along with it. If he cares about you and you have clearly expressed your wishes, I am sure he will be more than willing to help you make the next time more special. Don't leave all of the details up to him though. Remember you must give to recieve.

P.S. PLEASE USE PROTECTION!