My wife of 4 years recently cheated on me. I can't stop thinking about cheating back, even though I know it wouldn't make me feel better, and it definitely wouldn't solve anything.
I told her "I forgive you" as soon as I found out about it, but how do I actually do that?
I found out about it by reading the cell phone bill, which had a little over 300 phone calls to this guy in less than a month. When I confronted her about it, she first lied, then grudgingly gave up a little bit of info. She kept seeing him for 3 weeks after she told me she'd stopped seeing him. She's lied to me everytime we talk about it.
How can I trust her again?
How can I honestly forgive her (and get it out of my head)?
Honestly, I'd look into going to couples therapy ASAP. To leave up to the two of you to work it given how emotional you both probably are right now is not a wise idea.
Seriously, given divorce rates in this country I think it's a good idea for even the happiest of couples to go to couples therapy from time to time to make sure you both on the same page.
I agree its time to go and tlak out both of your issues together. Make sure she knows that you really don't forgive her, and find out if there is something you can save frmo your marriage
i agree...shes broken your trust over and over. it would be incredibly difficult to trust her / forgive her.
i doubt shes come forth with everything. shes only admitting things when you find things out. she doesn't even seem like shes remorseful as she kept lying to you.
you reached out the branch of forgiveness waaaaaaay to early. im not saying don't try to forgive, but she now knows that she can do what she wants and you will immediately forgive her. i would have left her and never turned back. if she attempted to find me and made the effort to find me at the other side of the world, then i would consider trying to work things out. until then, i would have been a goner.
im sorry brother...but i think it might even be too late. she's given her heart to someone else, and when women do that...the point of no return is sometimes inevitable.
i hope the best for you...but you might want to start preparing yourself emotionally for the coming storm.
i agree with the other posters about counseling...but if she doesn't want to try to work things out...i think that pretty much spells final.
you want revenge, to make things even. Doing what she did, she gave you a free "cheat on me" card. DONT think like that.
you think it gives you the right to cheat, well maybe it does. But revenge will only bring temporary happiness. eventually things will become the same again, resentment, anger, and mistrust.
instead of getting even, find a way around this...counseling even. But after trust is lost, it's very hard.
I told her "I forgive you" as soon as I found out about it, but how do I actually do that?
I found out about it by reading the cell phone bill, which had a little over 300 phone calls to this guy in less than a month. When I confronted her about it, she first lied, then grudgingly gave up a little bit of info. She kept seeing him for 3 weeks after she told me she'd stopped seeing him. She's lied to me everytime we talk about it.
How can I trust her again?
How can I honestly forgive her (and get it out of my head)?
You may never be able to trust her again. My question to you is why do you want to stick around knowing she cheats???
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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