Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I dnot know what to do.... Lets start from the beginning, I was in a realtionship with a guy who is my current boyfriends mate, and all of a sudden out of the blue me and my current bf started seeing each other behind my ex's back, yes I know it was wrong and it should never of happend but until about 9 months ago I was glad it did.
when we first got together as with all relationships there was so much passion and trust and unconditional love, but as time went on we started to have sex less and less went from every few days to every week to every few weeks and now its 1 a month if I really go on about it, I feel like I have to force him into to it and when he does its like im forcing him into it.
Some of you will have read my past post about the lack of trust becuase of the lie he told me about a women he worked with but thats not all, he started the abuse round the same time as I was obviously upset about this and we would argue about it all the time but he has kinda stopped it now the last time he abuse me was about 3-4 weeks ago. Now I dont mention her no more but it still hurts.
The main issue is that we dont have sex anymore like once a month if that, and he says he dosent masterbate but I know he does as I have seen the history on his pc, and when I confront him about this he just denies it. Its not so much about the sex no more though, its more about the fact that there is a lack of phiscal contact, last night I was asleep and I woke up a few times with him kissing me on the forehead and stroking my head which I thought was lovely, but he doesnt seem to hardly ever kiss me on the mouth.
I always say I love you first and yes I do wait along time before I say it and then I get fed up of waiting and so I say it and he says it back. I practically intialise kissing all the time and I feel that we are becoming more and more distant as now he only works friday night 9-9am sat night 9-9am and sun 9-9am, and has the rest of the week off, the problem is that I now hardly see him as I work monday - firday 9-5 and when I get back in I am tierd and hes wide awake so I get like 2 hours with him before I fall to sleep and most of the time he just sits on his PC.
I took today off so I could see him more but he didnt come to bed till 10:30 this morning so he probably wont get up till like 6 or 7 so I should have just gone to work, the thing is I know he gets up at around 5 ish when I am at work and has a wank I mean come on no man in his twentys can realistically wait a month before he does anything sexual can he? I am getting to the point where I wish I had stayed with my ex even though I didnt love him like I love my bf he never gave me any reason to distrust him and he masterbated but I didnt mind as he did it openly and always wanted me over doing that but if I wasent in the mood he would just go satify himself which was fine with me did I make a mistake should I leave him and move away? I dont know what to do guys please help me.
No one can tell you wheather you should stay or go, that has to be your call. What do you feel you need to? Does leaving out weigh staying? There seems to be a lack of trust. Have you actaully sat down with him and told him how you feel about things? I understand you're upset about the lack of sex or him acting distant etc, which usually means theres a deeper issue there, than just the sex. I say have a talk with him, voice your concerns to him on the matter. After you have told him how you feel, if things have not changed, and things still seem off to you, then maybe you need to make your choice.
Jade
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
I think you should just find someone else. It's obvious for whatever reason, he's just not interested in you anymore. Perhaps the novelty wore off because you're totally available to him now and before you were a challenge (he was stealing someone's girlfriend.)
This isn't meant to be a harsh remark but just a question: How can you cheat on your ex with another guy and ever think you and that guy can have a successful relationship? I mean, the relationship began as a result of deception (e.g. going behind your ex's back.) What goes around comes around and it's possible he's found a new girl to get with. You should ask him about it if you really need to know.
I have tried asking him and he just says that I am being silly and thats all he says about it.... I feel like crying most of the time as I love him so much and I think he loves me... but he just dosnt seem to want me now more...
So you cheated on your boyfriend(with his friend, classy), and left him for the guy you cheated on. Who in turn began to abuse and neglect you. It's nice to know what goes around comes around. Anyways, as has been said, either this guy isnt into you, or he has someone else, or both. I'd give up on it, but don't go back to your ex bf either cuz that would just be low. Next time: don't cheat, and dont convince yourself a scumbag who can bang his friends gf isnt boyfriend material, seems like this was a much needed lesson.
So you cheated on your boyfriend(with his friend, classy), and left him for the guy you cheated on. Who in turn began to abuse and neglect you. It's nice to know what goes around comes around. Anyways, as has been said, either this guy isnt into you, or he has someone else, or both. I'd give up on it, but don't go back to your ex bf either cuz that would just be low. Next time: don't cheat, and dont convince yourself a scumbag who can bang his friends gf isnt boyfriend material, seems like this was a much needed lesson.
CLASSY now thats just rude....
lets call My ex A and My current bf lets call him B so you can understand this....
A didnt love me nor did he respect so I got together with B these things happen and no I am not proud of what I did but I did, A and B have discussed this and have managed to remain firends....Now B is phically and mentally abusing me now if you think thats acceptable becuase I cheated on A with B and like you say what goes around comes around and if you think beating someone up is what I deserved for cheating then you have issues....
I came on this forum for advice not for people to try and put me to shame by making comments like classy and make it out that this is acceptable to be hit becuase i cheated on A...
If anyone has any good advice then I would like to hear it, if not can you please keep your comments to yourself as I need help not someone bashing me.
There's no excuse for abuse (mental and especially physical) in a relationship ever. I know it's hard but you really need to walk away from B. By staying with your current boyfriend, you're letting him know that you don't have the self-esteem to realize you deserve better and things will only get worse with time. Don't you want to be with someone who loves you and would never hurt you that way?
Of course I do but I thought that he was that person and I am guessing I secretly hope he still can be..... Am I being a fool?
Sorry Allalone. I know it's hard to accept but people don't turn into a person that will love and respect you. It's either they are or they aren't. Your boyfriend has been abusive towards you. He isn't that person that can love you and respect you. He won't change. That's just how things work. He's the one with the problem so you really need to leave him and be alone for a while. I guarantee you that you can find someone that will treat you infinitely better. Good luck. All the people will be on here to support you if you need it.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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