Is he interested?

unsafe · 8th March 2006, 3:58 PM

Ok I went out on a date with this guy I have known for at least two years. I see him around, run into him at the bars once in awhile. He is friends with a couple of my good friends they went to college together. I always thought he was a cutie but I think I was always dating someone. Anyway long story short, awhile go we were at a party and he kissed me. He never aked for my number so I just assumed he wasn't interested. But I ran into him a week ago and he asked why nothing ever came of us, I was like not sure. He asked for my number and asked if he could call me the next day to set up a date. He was all nervous he said is that too soon? I said no not all call me tomorrow. So he did. We ended up going out Sunday night. Great date or so I thought. I had a blast!

He dropped me off and mentioned something about going out to see his brother sing kerokee Wednesday and he would call to see if I wanted to come. Well he called Yesterday and didn't even mention it. He asked what I was up to for the week. I told him I was busy Thursday and Friday but the rest of the week I was free. He then started to discuss Saturday night. But then stopped himself half way through and said but I usually hang out with my brother Saturday nights but its close to you so .....I was lost I told him he was confusing me. It semed as though he wanted to ask me out again but he wasn't? He said am I talking out of my ass? I didn't think so, I was just confused if he did want to see me again or not. I mean he was calling?!

He said well I guess we will see what heppens...wherever the wind blows I guess. I was like what the heck I am not going to sit around for this guy to ask me out again. But I did enjoy him and I would like to get to know him better?

Any opinions or suggestions?

I thought maybe I should call him to ease his nerves, if he was just nervous, but I wasn't sure. Then I thought maybe he likes to play hard to get. Although that night I ran into him he was all about me and asking if he could call me the next day?

I don't want to waste my time and engery anymore can someone please just give me some words of wisdom to ease my troubled mind?

Thanks!

MadDog · 8th March 2006, 8:51 PM

Like you said, don't sit around waiting for him to call. Make other plans like you normally would and see if he makes the effort to get together with you. If he doesn't, then he's not interested in pursuing it further.

I think if people understood the following there would be a lot less confusion in the dating world:

1. If you ask a girl out and she's interested, she'll clear out her schedule and hang out with you if she's able to.

2. If a guy is interested, he will call and make an obvious effort to hang out with you.

Hope this helps.

MD

unsafe · 8th March 2006, 8:54 PM

I understand that completely. He seemed like he was trying but got tongue tied. Now if he called to hang out with weekend and I dont' make room for him, he is going to think I am not interested? But I am not going to wait around. Its like a catch 22. If I make time I am lame and if I don't he wont ask me out again?

MadDog · 8th March 2006, 8:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unsafe

I understand that completely. He seemed like he was trying but got tongue tied. Now if he called to hang out with weekend and I dont' make room for him, he is going to think I am not interested? But I am not going to wait around. Its like a catch 22. If I make time I am lame and if I don't he wont ask me out again?

I think you're just worrying too much about the situation in general. If he's really interested, it's not as if just being busy one time when he asks to hang out is going to make him give up. If he gives up that easily, he's probably not all that interested. Just do your thing and see what happens. Let us know how it works out.

MD

unsafe · 8th March 2006, 8:58 PM

Thats true. Thanks! I will.

unsafe · 13th March 2006, 3:37 PM

ok let me update this...He called me Thursday wanted me to meet up with him and his friends at a bar but I told him I was busy thats not a date? That shouldn't count and thats not how you get a girl to want to keep you around? He called Sarturday night wanted me to meet up with him. I didn't call him back. He called Saundya night at 11:30 wanted to know why I hadn't called him back. He said if I wanted to hang out with him to call him but if I wasn't into him to not call he would get the picture. So I called today and I am busy all week so my next day free is Saturday he wants me to get my girlfriends together and party at some bar Saturday night? What the hell? I don't get it? I said so you want me to come out and drink with you and your buddies and he said yeah and bring your friends. I just dont get it. It seems like he likes me but then why isn't he asking me out on a real date?

Any suggestions?

MadDog · 13th March 2006, 3:43 PM

He sounds like he's too intimidated to hang out with you one on one. It's possible he's just shy and/or lacks game. You can do one of two things at this point:

1. Conclude it's not worth it (e.g. he's not putting in enough effort) and blow him off.

2. Give him a chance and hang out with him and his friends and see what he does from there.

If I were a chick, I'd probably pass on a guy that lacks any sort of game though. Lack of confidence is a big no no for guys.

MD

unsafe · 13th March 2006, 3:45 PM

Thanks I appriciate the opinion! I don't want to waste my time anymore. So I wasn't sure if he just wasnt' that into me kind of thing or if he was just to shy. I mean he keeps calling so he must like me some what right? Its true maybe he is just to shy to hang out one on one. But how lame. Thanks!

catgirl1927 · 13th March 2006, 4:06 PM

He's either shy like MD said or is looking for casual sex. I agree. Not worth the effort you've already put in.