[funlass]

I was going out with a guy for 3 months and everything was really good, we got on like a house on fire, I felt more relaxed with him than anyone I've ever been with and the intimacy had never been better, but I did not have what I see as the 'vital spark', so I dumped him. This was over 2 months ago now and although I think I've made the right decision, I still feel very guilty. I know he has struggled with the break up and I want to just go around and see him and give him a big hug... should I still be feeling like this? we have not seen each other but have been in contact on and off via email. is all this normal?

[tikigods]

It is normal, I would suggest though to cut off the contact with him, cause it seems that he needs to have time to heal. But if you don't feel like a relationship is what you want then you ahve evrey right to end it and find out what you do

[CaliGuy]

Visual spark? That's the only reason you dumped him?

Strikes me as a bit shallow.

[skeptik224]

It sounds like you did have that vital spark but that it didn't come in that form. Sometimes in relationships, it doesn't hit you like a ton of bricks like we think it does. If you're talking about you not getting that "feeling" in the pit of your stomach - well that's a different story. If you think you did the right decision, it'll only make things worse for your ex if you contact him. He needs space right now to get over you. It'll be harder for him since you left "when things were good." You need to give him space. Contacting him will only get his hopes up.

[funlass]

Most of the contact has been initiated by him, but I always feel I need to reply to him. Also since we split it was his birthday and I just had to send him a card, but also sent him an ecard the same day which confused him.