How do I bring it up??

ttmmpp · 3rd March 2006, 2:54 PM

I have been dating a great guy for 7 months (both of us are divorced). We have an amazing relationship, we are definately in love, but I don't know where he sees our future going. He owns his owns home and is always doing home improvements. Recently he said he would like me to help him decorate and always asks if I like this type of furniture, etc... It sounds to me that he is asking because maybe he sees me sharing this home with him oneday. But! He never really talks about the future. Sure maybe a vacation or something, but not the nitty, gritty future. I don't want to get married tomorrow or anything (it has only been 7 months) but I can definatley see us together, (should I say it?) forever. We can talk about everything and anything, and I don't usually have a problem speaking my mind, but I don't want to scare him off. The M word can be pretty scarey for some people. He has a brother that has been with his girlfriend for 10 years. I don't want to be that girl, I will eventually want to be the wife not the girlfriend. So, how do I bring it up?? What do I say??

Groovy · 3rd March 2006, 3:47 PM

He may be asking your advice because most man have no decorating talent, so it may be dangerous to assume he is thinking of the two of you together in his house. You are right, men get scared off easy. It's one of the hardest things for a woman to deal with and communication is tricky.

Aside from this has he done anything to indicate genuine interest? Does he help you out on your home, mow the grass, etc? Does he buy or make you things? Has he said he loves you? Does he act goofy and awe struck at times? Tell more....

ttmmpp · 3rd March 2006, 4:24 PM

He tells me he loves me all the time, and yeah he acts goofy and awe struck most of the time. We both do. I rent so he really doesn't have to help me out with anything, but he does put air in my tires if he thinks they look low. (how cute is that?) He just bought me a pair of diamond earrings very nice size, but not over the top. He actually said he didn't want to buy anything too big because then I wouldn't have anything to look forward for. I am definatley love struck!! I have failed at marriage before, so I'm not in a hurry by any means, but I would like to know if we are on the same path when it comes to the future. I just want to know as he said, have something to look forward for.

Groovy · 3rd March 2006, 5:15 PM

So it sounds like a valid interest. Maybe just ask him what his relationships goals are, in a general sense.