[UT_longhorn]

We broke up 2 months ago. NC for pretty much the 2 months, except one day 5 weeks ago.

She had blocked me on chat. I blocked her as well. I unblocked her yesterday for some odd reason, and there she was online, she had unblocked me.

We spoke. It was friendly. We cleared up some misunderstandings. We caught up on whats been going on in each of our lives. I told her Im pretty good. She kept asking if I was over everything. I said yes (even though I am not). I told her I am so busy these days. That I am excited about my new project in DC. Basically I guess I came off across as doing well. (Which is pretty much the case). She told me some of the things that she was doing, and I told her that Im very glad that she is doing so well and happy. We had some more conversation and kind of wrapped up saying if we see each other out next time, we dont have to act like awkward strangers.

The chat was good overall but a bit strained. Chatting with her is not something that I plan to do with her for a long time. I think I'm going to have to put her on block again. Although I was proud of how I handled the conversation...my emotions are now killing me again. Im not back at square one, but I do feel like a few huge steps backwards.

I guess I thought I could handle the friend thing after 2 months. but I am wrong. Im not ready. I really was doing very well until this.

Guys/girls - please think long and hard before you have any sort of contact. it really is like scratching at a healing wound. It will open right back up.