Here's my story.
My Wife (27) & I (29) have been married 3yrs this coming June. We have been together 8yrs & we've known each other for 15yrs. We have a 4yr old son who will be 5 this coming June & she is currently 4 1/2 months pregnant with our little girl who has Turner's Syndrome that we are likely to lose.
A few weeks after we found out she was pregnant I overheard her telling her mom she is unhappy. I confronted her about it & after talking & crying I left our home because she said she needed time to think & figure out what she wants. She told me back in June about this & things got better, but I just couldn't deal with alot of things so it went back to old. We have never had any major problems. The thing we do is argue about stupid stuff never anything serious. I know it bothers her alot that we argue, but that's really the extent of it.
I've had alot to deal with myself. Her Dad passed away at the age of 44 & I moved her family to were we live & helped them out. She has 5 sisters & We had 3 of them with us plus her Mom. Things got out of hand with the teenage ones & it was really hard for me to deal with. She ended up kicking the bad one out because I told her I was going to leave & I couldn't deal with it anymore.
Well like I said on NOV.28th I moved to my mom's not to far down the street to give her space & time to think. Well I just recently found out that she started seeing her female friend about a month after the seperation & after giving it a few days just recently she told me she wanted to be with this girl. She has never been in a relationship with the same sex before. This girl is one of her best friends who is openly gay. I've always hung out with them when they would go out & all.
She's been lying to me, because I've asked her numerous times if she was seeing this girl & she would say no. I have not put her down since finding out & I haven't put the other girl down either. I've been very supportive of this & I've been very understanding as well. Most guys would have divorced her right away, but my family means more then anything in the world to me & I'm willing to do anything.
I just moved back into my house a few days ago because I refuse to stay at my Mom's when this is not the reason I left. I told her to please move in with that girl or find somewhere to go, but I don't know what is going to
happen with that yet.
I just don't understand why this is happening & it's killing me to be losing my family after everything my wife & I have been through together & all of the time we spent of our lives. Her entire Family & all of her friends think she is making the biggest mistake of her life & everyone is extremely SHOCKED. I'm not perfect, but I try very hard because I know have screwed she was by one of her past boyfriends & I would never want to do anything to hurt her like he did.
Here's my story.
My Wife (27) & I (29) have been married 3yrs this coming June. We have been together 8yrs & we've known each other for 15yrs. We have a 4yr old son who will be 5 this coming June & she is currently 4 1/2 months pregnant with our little girl who has Turner's Syndrome that we are likely to lose.
In my experience, this right here is one of the biggest problems going on here. Why do I say this? Cause I been there, done that, got the divorce. My XW and I lost a child 11 days after she was born. And it devestated things that were already damaged. First thing you need to know, 95% of marriages that lose a child end in divorce if you don't get some kind of counseling.
Also, in my situation, the lose of the child caused a great deal of problems with my XW. She got the idea that she had missed out on a lot of life and decided she wanted a do over with her life.
Look, it's a really long read, but I think you can gain alot of insight from my story. It might not give you hope, but it will give you some understanding of what you have to face. Seriously, read it, and then if you have any questions, ask.
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I know the difference between right and wrong, I just don't care.
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Shut up, I'm not done blaming everyone who isn't me.
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"I have done that," says my memory. "I cannot have done that," says my pride, and remains inexorable. Eventually--memory yields.--Nietzsche
Sorry to hear about the loss of your child & I won't even compare mine to yours, because it's totally different. We found out early in the pregnancy about this & we expect it so it's not going to be a shock. Basically odds are it will be a misscarriage so getting to the point of birth is almost non existent. I would rather this happen then to have to deal with what you guys had to go through. I don't mean it in a mean way it's just that it's horrible what happened being that your child was born.
hang in there...i'm have seen alot of terrific support and advice here for people in all kinds of hurt..
i'm not one for advice but i am with you in that i have been sticking with a situation that is so clearly not going my way and i keep trying and rationalizing and being nice and good and strong and supportive etc and its getting me nowhere slowly..
all i can say is you have to figure out how to unlock her feelings for you..if she's gay then i must say you need to face the facts and sooner the better..
Sorry to hear about the loss of your child & I won't even compare mine to yours, because it's totally different. We found out early in the pregnancy about this & we expect it so it's not going to be a shock. Basically odds are it will be a misscarriage so getting to the point of birth is almost non existent. I would rather this happen then to have to deal with what you guys had to go through. I don't mean it in a mean way it's just that it's horrible what happened being that your child was born.
Still, don't underestimate the impact that this might have on a woman.
Well ya can, actually. My exH and I split up for a BUNCH of reasons (the biggest being that he went to prison ). But I think that when I lost our baby, and he and I were dealing with it so differently -- it created this vast distance between us that eventually became insurmountable. I don't know if you felt something similar happening, but my heart goes out to you.
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This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet.
Look, like I said, there were problems in my marriage prior to the loss of my daughter. But her death made things exponentially worse. I can't say with any certainty that if my daughter had survived things would have been different. Essentially, I think the loss of my daughter just sped up the process.
Whether it is expected or not does little to ease the pain and suffering. In some ways it makes things more difficult I would guess. We had no warning that anything was wrong until my daughter was born. But knowing that at any moment you could lose that unborn child, essentially waiting for it to happen, that is going to have a major effect on her. It's probably slowly driving her to madness. I wouldn't underestimate the effect it is having on her.
You are facing a very difficult road, I can tell you that.
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