ex-girlfriend wants to have sex (we are both virgins).
As I've stated in earlier posts, my ex and I have been broken up for about two months. She broke up with me because she "just isn't sure" that I'm "the one." I attempted NC with her, but she broke it very quickly -- in fact, there has only been about 2 or 3 days we haven't seen/talked since we broke up. A couple weeks ago we started doing a friends-with-benefits type thing and she always refers to me as her "best friend" even though we have been pretty much acting like a couple outside of the public eye.
A few days ago, after we were done doing "stuff" (we pretty much do everything but have sex), she tells me that she wants to have sex. This puts me in a very strange position:
I want to have sex with her because I still love her. However, if we do it, I'd just get really attached and I'd be in ruins if she started dating another guy after that. Then again, she is the only person I've really felt completely comfortable with sexually and we've had such a long history together, and who knows when I'll find that again. Also, if we do it, she may grow more attached to me (as I grow attached to her), thus making a relationship inevitable... and I do want to get back together with her. However, it could also **** things up in some unforseen way and we'd totally lose everything.
If you're 23, probably the answer is STILL don't do it. Because yes, it does get you feeling much more attached. If you are willing to take that risk, and also willing to have sex with someone who has made it clear she is not devoted to you, and you will accept the pain along with the pelasure, then I guess there are worse things you could do.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
I think it hinges on what you both want. If there's a question of whether you are together, or if one of you wants the relationship back, you probably shouldn't have sex because it could complicate things.
Consider: Do you want your first time with someone special who you have a future, not a past, with?
However, if you feel that you will remain apart and sex will not create any new feelings of clingyness, it may be different. If you feel that you can embark on this big step in life with mutual affection, but the realization that you're future is not with each other, consider it. You know her, you're comfortable with her, and that may make for a satisfactory experience. I have know several people who have had good first times with an already-ex. (Mind you, there were no other people in the picture)
PROCEED WITH CAUTION. If there is any doubt, don't. It could make things too complicated.
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