Two days before valentine he said if he wasn't married he would propose to me.On valentine's day he gave a silver ring.It is silver, but it is a ring... What does it mean? Lately, his behaviour has changed.Before he would just listen to my problems as a outsider, I mean he always supported me and gave me attention, but now he is getting involved more and more.It is all little stuff like when I said I need to change the battery on my watch he said he would take it to the jewler and pay for it, or the day I had to go to the doctor and the nurse wouldn't give me good directions to the place, he wanted to call and get the directions himself.I know these are little things but before he was very strong about not getting things mixed up and telling me that although he loves me we would never be together because of his wife.After he gave the silver ring ,I made a joke like,"Hey a ring is a powerfull symbol, even it is silver" then he went on telling me that he sometimes think of what type of ring he would buy me, and how we woud marry in a Baptist church and so on...What is it? This is the man who would tell me all the time that he would never leave his wife.Is he having a change of heart?I know he wont leave her, and I already excepted that, now he is making me confused. What is it?
then he went on telling me that he sometimes think of what type of ring he would buy me, and how we woud marry in a Baptist church and so on...What is it? This is the man who would tell me all the time that he would never leave his wife.Is he having a change of heart?I know he wont leave her, and I already excepted that, now he is making me confused. What is it?
He is playing you for a fool. Not that he isn't meaning what he says in the heat of the moment, but the whole situation - You and him getting married isn't going to happen. WHY on earth would he give you ring, tell you about where you'd be getting married??? Well, to keep you happy, to keep you close to him and not leave. He is giving you broken words, broken promises. In a sense, that's a shutup ring. Meaning, "one day I'll leave my wife... Just don't ask when. Could be 1 year, could be 5 years...Or could be never. He is keeping you hushed by giving you a ring which now has given you hope.
Honestly, you should give him back that ring, tell him if he ever gives you a ring he better be divorced and READY to marry you! End of story.
Ofcourse he is sincere about how he feels about you. I'm sure he does love and care about you. BUT he has a wife and is taken. Right now, why would he change things? He has 2 women fullfilling his needs...Why would he want to give that up? Think about it.
Come on, girl! A silver ring is very cheap. Don't tell me that the little token has "won" your heart already! (Think about how much a h**ker charges for each session of sex. .. do the math!)
Sorry, if I sound harsh. But it makes me mad just hearing that a girl is so excited about the littlest thing a MM does. Aren't you worth more?
Perhaps he is falling even more in love with you. Maybe he is thinking about leaving his wife for you. I don't know. Try not to get your hopes up too high though, you might be really hurt if you think he is going to leave and he doesn't. Enjoy the changes in him and try not to read too much into it.
I think he is pulling you closer to him. Doesn't mean he is wanting to leave his wife at all, but I think it does mean he's a little more serious. He doesn't want you to leave him probably. The ring is a possessive thing, in my opinion. Like he's marking you his territory. I'm sure he would be very upset if you dated other men even though he goes home to his wife every night. Which is harder for you, who loves him, even though he has promised never to leave his wife. I suspect he wants to make you content as his woman on the side indefinitely. Whatever it is that he is missing you complete. His wife fills in the other chunk. He wants to sustain this. I know you are complimented at his pulling closer, but I don't think it means quite what you are hoping.
Ask him what he intends this ring to symbolise, exactly. Maybe he is getting more and more attentive, maybe he loves you more... but that doesn't mean ANYTHING in terms of what he will do about still being married.
He's getting you to wear it... as someone else says, that's more a token of ownership than of his commitment.
Please take the ring off. It's cheap, and I don't like what he's doing. Weaving you a fantasy with all this talk of weddings. Creep.
Thanks for all the feedback. Knowhowlovefeels I like silver and I didn't thought it was cheap,it is not like we are getting engaged... but I can see your point.Maybe it is just a ring, but you all agree with me that a ring is a very strong simbolism.
Some of you feel that he is just getting more in love, I feel like that too.Like I said he is getting more and more attentive.But I also agree that that maybe just a sign of onwership, he is extremely jealous. When I asked about it,he went on blabiling how if ever get married we would marry in a baptist church and so on.
I thought maybe I was overeacting...but you all seem to think there is more to it than a innocent gift. Maybe I should talk to him again,I am just afraid I will hurt his feelings or sound nagging...
Thanks for you feedback. I didn't think it was cheap I love silver, and he knows it,and it is not like we are getting engaged... He is not requiring to use it, at least he made no demands. I feel he is getting more and more closer to me and accepting that we really love each other. But it could be a sing of onwership too, he is extremely jealous.
I thought i was overreacting, but you all seem to agree with me...I probably will havw to talk to him about it again.I am just afraid of hurting his feelings and sound nagging.
Don't fall for it, he is just trying to make u think he is serious about you & the relationship u guys have. My ex MM took be on all kinds of vacations, got me jewlery all the time, diamonds everywhere & none of it meant to me what him leaving would mean to me & he didn't.
I don't care what these MM buy you, the important thing here is if they actually leave, which they probably won't. Me & my MM had such a special deep love relationship & i thought he would leave & i think he did too, but when it came down to actually doing it, he couldn't.
So after 3 years of the roller coaster, I had to walk away & end it!
If this MM really loves u & is serious about u, he will leave his wife, everything else means nothing.
But it could be a sing of onwership... he is extremely jealous.
I am just afraid of hurting his feelings and sound nagging.
He's not in a position to make any demands of you ~ he's a MM having an affair.
If he's 'extremely jealous' and you're scared of hurting his feelings that's a very poor position for you to be in (quite apart from it being an affair in any case).
It might seem like a romantic gesture of love, but giving you this ring is pretty dishonest of him in my opinion.
Thanks for you feedback. I didn't think it was cheap I love silver, and he knows it,and it is not like we are getting engaged... He is not requiring to use it, at least he made no demands. I feel he is getting more and more closer to me and accepting that we really love each other. But it could be a sing of onwership too, he is extremely jealous.
I thought i was overreacting, but you all seem to agree with me...I probably will havw to talk to him about it again.I am just afraid of hurting his feelings and sound nagging.
Sami wasn't talking about price tag...She was talking about what it represents and how it cheapens you. Like a hidden trophy. IT IS a sign of HIS ownership over YOU. Especially with the fact he's jealous!
Don't be afraid of hurting his feelings, my god - HE isn't scared of hurting yours everynight when he goes home to his WIFE. Come on, you're old enough to know what is what. Don't this your feelings for him cloud your judgement. See the full picture here. And so what if you nag him? Are you scared of pissing him off? That if you open up and tell him exactly how you feel and he doesn't like it, get angry back and he is going walk out on you?
Like most others have said, the ring is a cheap "shutup" ring that also shows other men that you're his property. Like throwing a dog a bone. I'm not saying you should have held out for an expensive shutup ring. I would advise you to dump the dishonest b****d ASAP.
He is sincere...yes...about wanting to give you whatever apparently minimal amount of gifts and lies it takes to manipulate you into being his OW forever.
Here's a metaphor: Being a wife to a loyal husband is like walking into a nice restaurant through the front door, being shown to a table, and eating a delicious meal that was prepared just for you.
Being an OW to a cheating MM is like entering the same restaurant through the service entrance, past all the boxes of vegetable peelings and dirty dishrags. Everyone ignores you, so you find yourself a quite spot, and eventually someone dumps off a plate of half-eaten food, after a woman at another table is through with it. You are hungry, so you eat it...and you make darn sure not to utter a word of complaint, for fear you'll be kicked out of the restaurant...
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My married man gave me a ring????
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