I'm gonna try to put this as simply as possible...been with a guy for about 2 years...for about 6-8 months he cheated on me and vice versa...we got back together and we have been serious and the love has grown stronger BUT things have happened like 1: rumor that he kissed a girl and was lying to me (he denied it-i'm still not sure if it's true or not) 2: He went to prom with the girl he cheated on me with (but did NOT cheat on me with her) and now 3: I find out he got a girls number...we fight and I threaten to break up with him...so we're sitting in his car he's crying and i'm crying and blah blah blah he says that their just friends and we make up...i walk through the door and my friend who told me about him getting this girls number calls and says he was going to meet her earlier and she couldn't that he said there was no commitment between us and that he didn't feel the same about me that did for him blah blah blah...i call him up crying (AGAIN) and he denies it...i say let's call her...he says no...i say if you don't we're over...he says tomorrow...i say no...he says he has to go...tomorrow I'm gonna find out the truth about the girl...but i almost don't wanna know...i've been through so much with this guy...2 years...he is my first and last love...i want to marry this guy...what do I do...should we take a break, should I stay...Help ,but please don't right away say "oh get over that jerk and find someone new", because until this ##### happens to you it's much much much easier said than done...so please help and give me some advice becasue I am so confused and it's killing me inside...

[Tony T]

To be in a healthy relationship, you have to love YOURSELF!!!

To remain in a long-term relationship with a guy who continuously cheats on you is NOT loving yourself at all. Your self-esteem needs a big boost, the kind it would get it you told this guy to get lost.

You may be hanging around because you don't want other girls to have him, but obviously they already do.

He has absolutely no respect for you or his relationship with you. He has taught you that a condition of being his girlfriend is that you will tolerate his disloyalty and you do. You still love him and want to be with him. Do you have any idea the number of guys who would love to have a girl they could come back to after every little fling?

I really and truly hate to say this...and please don't be mad...but others looking on from the outside who know the details of your relationship will think of you as pretty foolish for putting up with this.

He's not going to change as long as you tolerate the behavior. You have no alternative but to break it off with him. But you do say you want to marry him. In the age of STD's and AIDS, staying with him could be a death sentence for you.

I hope you will seek some professional counselling to help you find out why you would want to stick with someone who has so little regard for your feelings...and who could help you get through this and make you feel better that there is someone out there who would love YOU, YOU and ONLY YOU!!!

Forgiveness is truly important in any relationship but sustaining continued abuse is not part of that. I have personally found that in most situations where negative behavior is concerned, when there is a reconciliation, the negative behavior eventually resumes...and it looks that way in your case.

There is hope for this, not much, but you're going to have to put your foot down in a big way and mean what you say here!!!