What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM?
OW/OM - have you ran into your exes and their spouses? What happened? What did you do?
Thanks for your replies!
MOI
Probably kill him. I am struggling with this in general. I sure as hell want to go punch his lights out but I know that would be wrong. I dont know for sure what would happen if I saw him. (and I do know what he looks like), but I dont think it would it be pretty.
This will surely happen to us at some point. We live in a town of about 60K people. The OW's daughter will go to the same HS as our two sons and will be in a grade right between our two boys. We will probably see them at school functions, etc. Plus, the four of us ALL work at the same (large) institution. (About 20K employees, and none of us work in close proximity -- except for my husband and the OW; but he is moving to a new building soon.)
I suspect nothing will happen. Hopefully there will be no acknowledgment. I know what her two vehicles look like and even though she lives on a different side of town, I look for her car every time I go shopping, so I can avoid her.
I think her husband is too civilized to do anything to my husband. And frankly, he should be more mad at HER, vs. my husband.
What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM?
OW/OM - have you ran into your exes and their spouses? What happened? What did you do?
Thanks for your replies!
MOI
I knew the OW that H had an A w/, they worked 2gether. She was his asst.
I didn't see her until after the A was over and H and I had been back 2gether about 9 months. We don't live in the same area anymore. Anyhow, we went to a bday party at a bar she was at w/ her new BF. All I did was give her a dirty look. I was talking to a friend and she walked past us and smiled at my friend and my friend just gave her a dirty look. This friend was there for support when I was going through the A. Her H also had an A about a year or two b4 H did. H didn't do or say anything to her. It's been 3 years since the A took place and even though I forgive her I still don't like her.
What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM?
been pondering this question for over 1 year. havent seen the OM yet. public place, hmmmm. not realy sure yet, what ever was meant to be will be I guess.
leaning towards forgiveness and shame. Shaming a person can be much more effective than anger towards them.
__________________
theres 3 sides to every story: yours, thiers and the truth
Probably kill him. I am struggling with this in general. I sure as hell want to go punch his lights out but I know that would be wrong. I dont know for sure what would happen if I saw him. (and I do know what he looks like), but I dont think it would it be pretty.
although I'd love to say that. Thats not what happened. my h had multiple A's.
most the time the OW and I ignore each other. Every so often a b*tch will just have to come up and say "Hi". I've got serious personality problems so depends on my mood..... one time I hit her ......another time I hit him!
you know just reading that really pisses me off. I wish I could post a picture of myself so you could see why I ask whats wrong with me!
Anyway, unless your SO is a glutton for punishment, he/she will probabley steer you clear before you ever notice the OW/OM.
Curmudgeon, I'm angry with the OW. But I'm more angry with / disappointed in my spouse vs. the OW. She didn't promise her life to me / didn't 'marry' me.
you know just reading that really pisses me off. I wish I could post a picture of myself so you could see why I ask whats wrong with me!
.
Maybe that's what's wrong with you. You admit that you have problems with moods and point out your looks. Good looks are not a guarantee for good marriage.
I didn't mean that as posting an ugly or pretty picture of myself (because I could do that), I'm just not good with words, and I wish someone could see me (as a person) and my life and tell me whats wrong.
Location: Straight North - sharp left turn at Happenstance
Posts: 1,794
My tendency is to walk away from "scenes", but I could make an exception for her. I've had a fantasy of slapping her, but I know me well enough to know that wouldn't happen.
The problem is I don't really know what she looks like. I've seen her, but it's been fleeting - her driving by the house, etc.
One of my fears has been that she would attempt to befriend me, I wouldn't know it was her and would be nice to her. I'd feel afterward that I had betrayed myself. Kinda sick, I know - but still a fear.
I can't decide if it's better to know or not know your spouse's affair partner. In my case, I've known her as long as my husband has known her. We have been "friends" (or so I thought), as couples. We've been at each others' houses, to parties together, etc. In a way, this makes it easier, because I know her personally and I know that I have more going for me than she does in many ways. I know this is shallow, but if she was gorgeous and extremely intelligent / funny (and she is none of those), I would somehow feel worse about myself. I know, stupid and shallow of me, but so be it.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I know this is shallow, but if she was gorgeous and extremely intelligent / funny (and she is none of those), I would somehow feel worse about myself. I know, stupid and shallow of me, but so be it.
Linear Mode
