[dilbert]

in reference to http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81425/

I installed a keylogger software into the computer at home. it is great, took pictures and everything of the screen every time she hit the enter button or clicked on the mouse. Worked out great... if you suspect this check out www.relytec.com they have a great keylogger program.

Well, it recorded a conversation with one of her best friends in Peru where she detailed exactly what happened with this guy... I was right on the money apparently, he is 40 with 3 kids, and on Valentines day brought his wife and 3 kids to the resturant where my wife works while I was there. he is a lawyer and was slick, his wife seemed pretty pissed too. but I actually believed him because he was slick.

two days later I found the conversation, they have went out twice so far. She told me she just kissed him in the hotel room they had, to her credit the hotel was over an hour away and they went to dinner for sushi and she was only gone for 4 hours, so I believe her, she said she couldn't go any farther than that.

But she lied to me before, looked at me right in the eyes and lied to me.

I want to believe her, I know the first time she ever called him was on the 23rd of last month (thank god for cell phone logs).

I don't know what to do... We had a fight where she cried pretty much all day yesterday and she wants to stay with me.

I am very sad and confused, Thanks for all your help and I think this place will become a great help on down the line...

I told her everything I have done, checking the email, recording her activities on the computer, looking in her phone, even calling this guy once, but I didn't say anything. She was like wow, I told her the truth, I have never done any of this before, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't correct. I violated her privacy with this and she is OK with that, I hated doing it but she now knows all my tricks... there is still one more I am thinking about, you can get a prepaid cell phone and turn it into a tracking device for 100 bucks and 20cents per day www.Mologogo.com and you can track it in real time over the internet... this was my next step, but I didn't have to do it. In three years I have never done anything like this. And it all started because of a dream one night where she was cheating, then the first song on the radio was about cheaters.

I guess my subconcious new it before me, but I caught it in 9 days? Is this normal. Could there be something I am missing. I am so scared now because she lied to me once, and she did it well. I have decideded that this is a more of an emotional affair so I have decided to try and work things out. Anyone got any other advice on what to do?

[brokenherted]

I am so sorry for you.
I found out about my wife's A only 3 weeks ago. I know how you must feel.

First thing I would say is that if she has said she wants to be with you that's great. I think my marriage will end because my wife still doesnt say that - but this is not about me - but you.

Many people have written how they have got over this kind of things and made the marriage stronger. I believe you can too if she is willing to work with you at it.

Book the pair of you into some counselling. Try an organisation called Relate if you are in the UK.

I would also prepare yourself to find out there is more to this than what you currently know. I cant say there is but be prepared that there might be.

Then I would, providing that you still do, tell her that you love her. Tell her you're pissed off at her too, well basically open up and tell her exactly what
you feel but dont forget to make sure she knows you still love her.