[too unreal]

Uuummmm I thought only women made this excuse up????
(scratching head)



When my man doesn’t want to have sex he says…

I have a little headache…..he usually says this right off the bat upon seeing me, as he is walking through the door….awfully presumptious of him, dontcha think???

Who says I even wanted it in the first place??
I hate the way it makes me feel, as if I am a predator preying upon him, waiting for my opportunity to strike…I feel icky….


Now, I am not certain that he doesn’t want to have sex, but whenever he says “I have a little headache” or “my head hurts bad” and then we don’t have sex, it just seems a bit coincidental, agree??

And, it is not even just headaches anymore. Sometimes he decides to spice things up with other ailments such as my stomach hurts, my chest hurts, I am congested, (and so on) but mostly its headaches.

Seems to happen a little more than often……And if he really IS having these headaches and other ailments as frequently as he says, then maybe he has a serious health problem because it seems to happen VERY frequently.

One time, (because I was feeling especially icky) I said “who said I even wanted sex anyway” and he said, what are you talking about, I have a headache…

Trust me, I know it sounds a bit paranoid, but not only is it a gut instinct, it is heavily implied by the tone, attitude and feel of situation. Words are not even needed.

I have headache = I don’t want to have sex so don’t even bother

So, with that being said, why does my man always seem to have these ailments???

And what the he!! Is he avoiding sex with me for, if it is so obviously great???
And he is avoiding sex, for sure, I would bet my bottom dollar on it. And every time we have sex, it is great…..I know this for sure, so whats the dilemma??

cheating?

Man input needed!!

[too unreal]

please...im suffering over here, any and all advice would be appreciated..

Thanks!!!

[catgirl1927]

Well, since I don't see what he's doing or saying, all I have is what you've said, it might be that you're reading just a little much into what he's saying. He's probably just telling you he has a headache because he has a headache. Again, I'm not there, but I think you're overreacting, based on what you've said here.

[too unreal]

ok sure, a couple of times i understand this....but this is an ongoing chronic excuse, and our sex life is slowly dwindling because of it...

catgirl1927 He's probably just telling you he has a headache because he has a headache. Again, I'm not there, but I think you're overreacting, based on what you've said here.

yes, it could be possible, but it certainly is a convenient excuse....I was thinking he might have intimacy issues or he is getting it elsewhere though he claims to love me so much....hmmm

[catgirl1927]

Only you can really know what he's talking about. But as the reigning queen of over-sensitive, over-analyzing and insecure crazy people, I can say that it seems to me that it's much more innocent than it seems.

[filarena]

There are, as you correctly identify, only two good reasons for this behavior. Avoidance and sincere health problems.

How sure are you it isn't the latter though? Many many people have serious health problems that developed so gradually they'd gotten used to thinking it's nothing big. Before you freak out, get him checked out.

[too unreal]

YES....Thank you Filarena....

!EXACTLY!

OBVIOUSLY it is something more than "i have a headache, stomachache, blah blah blah ache"

I am sorry, but no normal young man can have that many health probs...that seem to only surface when he walks through the door.....

It has got to be avoidance and nothing more....I think he is faking...i think it is a put on, but what I dont understand is WHY??

What is the point??

[filarena]

Hey, I didn't say he was putting it on. You said again no normal man his age can have that many problems. But how do you know he's in good health?

A professor in my dept just had a brain tumor, and a large one at that, removed. He's 27. He had headaches all the time for nearly a decade (as in from the age of 17 or so) and didn't know that wasn't normal.

Before you jump to conclusions, I strongly recommend a visit to the doctor.