[clandestine]

hi.

I find I become very tense when I try to speak to girls that I like. I can usually speak with other people, but when it comes to that specific person, I find I cannot find the right words to initiate the conversation and things to talk about. This happens thru msn as well. Im wondering if there are any ways to improve my self-confidence so that next time I can spring to the opputunity. Any advice would be very helpful.

Thanks

[JohnM]

Heres my personal notes im trying to use

Open with: "Hi" with a nice, casual smile.

Find Something Interesting About The Person You Are Approaching. Her hair or interesting jewellry are good ideas.

Keep the focus of the conversation about her. People love to talk about themselves, especially about their ambitions and dreams.

Always keep good eye contact, but never stare.
Try not to talk about guy stuff.
Only ask open-ended questions.
Avoid topics about politics or relationships.
Always keep the conversation upbeat.

[clandestine]

Thanks for the advice John! Would it be good to talk about something like school or should i just stick with interests? Any more advice would be appreciated.

[JohnM]

Well you could turn this to yourself. If this was the other way around would you be that interested in talking in school?

Try to keep the conversation interesting using any topics you think she'd find interesting. Talking about school could be a starting topic as its a no fail area but as soon as you can pick up on an area from the school topic go with it. For instance if you're talking about school, if she mentions another topic that shes interested in try and change the conversation to this as obviously she fines that interesting.

If you know of any of her interests try find out a little info and i'm sure a smooth convo will flow. You could always talk about music, helps if you have the same tastes but i'm sure you could still have a open ended convo about it.