Some of you might remember my story but it has been almost 3 months since the last contact with my ex. I have never completly forgotten about her but it was going pretty well with ups and downs. I have been dating, socializing and travelling for business and I was thinking that each day i am getting better.
I do not know what happened but since this morning I want to contact her again. I know that is wrong but do not convince myself maintaining NC. I read caliguy's posts, which makes me well for a while but then in a while back to square 1.
What should I do not to break NC? I need some help I guess. I feel like I will never get over this girl, although I dated only for 3 months. Even my breakup with my girlfriend of 7 years had not hurt that much.
I know how you feel Trone. I am 4 weeks nc, and it is a struggle today. With me I think it is the post-Valentine's day stress. I knew she wouldn't contact me (she didn't), but it's tough to convince my heart that that was a good thing. I am planning on struggling through today and hope that its better tomorrow. I don't want to undo all my hard work, and you have three times as much time invested. At least give yourself 24 hours to reflect.
......and I was thinking that each day i am getting better.
And you still are. Just because you've had some heart pangs over Valentine's Day it doesn't stand to reason that you're back to square one. Calling her however will certainly help to put you there.
What good will you accomplish from contacting her? You'll only feel a lot worse. If you want to feel that way - call her. If not - don't. Sometimes it really is that simple.
It's been how long without her making contact? Three months wasn't long to date but I am not belittling how you feel. Just know that if you continue to stick to NC and take care of yourself you will be fine. And ideally if contact is broken you want it to be her doing it, not you. That's the best situation as it allows you to be in control.
__________________ ...the purpose of a doormat is to wipe your feet on it, not love and respect it. - Balthazar The No Contact Guide
Cali, it has been also 3 months since the last time we had a contact other than coming across around the campus of our company. (We work at the same institution). When she sees me on campus, she kinda shakes first, can not look at me and then walks away very fast which makes me feel like the I am the worst guy on the planet.
In the past, I have not experienced where I had to cut the contact for an unspecified period of time. When we broke up, she told me that she can't see me for a very very long time and she cut it off. Maybe it is good for us but it is hard for me to understand why we can not be talking as two mature individuals.
So just smile and be yourself. She's acting immature, that's plainly obvious. You don't want to be with someone who is so immature to act out like that in public. You should be thanking your lucky stars!
When she sees me on campus, she kinda shakes first, can not look at me and then walks away very fast which makes me feel like the I am the worst guy on the planet.
What did you do to her? People don't shake and run when they see someone unless they were hurt by that person.
cali, you are right that she is mentally unstable although she does not want to accept the fact but she has been very stable when it comes to talking or contacting me.
How come a person does not even say hi or act as if I am stalker? That hurts more than anything I guess
cali, you are right that she is mentally unstable although she does not want to accept the fact but she has been very stable when it comes to talking or contacting me.
How come a person does not even say hi or act as if I am stalker? That hurts more than anything I guess
Because she has issues. People with a mental illness can't discern between fantasy and reality. Unless you're following her around and checking up on her, chances are you aren't being a stalker.
Just avoid her if you can. Heck, if there's another girl you're interested in, start talking to her.
cali, you are right that she is mentally unstable although she does not want to accept the fact but she has been very stable when it comes to talking or contacting me.
How come a person does not even say hi or act as if I am stalker? That hurts more than anything I guess
This is a hard one, this is my take on this.
I had an ex who was chronically depressed and takes medications. She had mood swings, which are sometimes good moode swings iinstigated by me. That is besides the point. anyway it took me awhile to find out and for her to confirm.
She has to take the leap to getting help. Either as a friend or ex-lover, take some action. If she views you as a stalker that might not be a good idea.
In regards to walking away, more like running away. Run away!
She takes medications too but on and off. She would take them regularly one week but not the next week. It was also a challange for me to explain her that she can't play with those medications. In addition to everything,she has to take bunch of medicine for lymes disease.
Anyhow, I do not know if I really love her or not being able to see or talk to her makes her valuable for me rite now. I really want to be able to talk her but I know any attemp will fail.
She is acting like I am a stalker but I do not think that that is what she really thinks. I do not do any stalking at all anyways. She has always been shy, emotionally intense, I think that is what happens when she sees me.
It is hard, really hard!
Last edited by trone; 16th February 2006 at 10:51 PM..
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