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Old 9th February 2006, 8:33 AM   #1
consumed
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 127
Need some good adivce

To understand my situation here’s the link to my previous post.
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80645/

Basically, the last girl I took out on a few dates blew me off with the “It not you it’s me”. Anyway that was 2 weeks ago and last night I got the same thing from yet another girl L I’m puzzled… believe me.
We met at my work same place where I met girl #1 but it’s a big retail store. In the last week we’ve been talking online and actually last Wednesday after talking online she wanted me to come over because she was home alone. Well I didn’t go simply because there was another guy at the work who was suppose to go see a show with her, although he doesn’t have any interest in her really so it didn’t end up happening.
Then this past Sunday we do go on a date, but this time I didn’t go all out. I dressed normal, no dinner this time, just a show (she wanted to see) and coffee before. That went well, and then for 2 days we had no contact. Yesterday I email her telling mentioning that I would still love to join her at a small concern in a local bar where her sister was playing. We met up there and I drove her home, which is where I get all confused.
See we arrive at her house, have a half hr make out session and then she dumps it on me.
“I just don’t get that butterfly feeling in me when I’m with you and I know I should.” Well we spent the next hr in the car talking about things, were we wanted to take things but mostly in the end all I got were a bunch of mixed and dead-end answers. I wasn’t sure if she just wanted friendship with the added benefits, or was seeking a relationship.
After about an hr, she mentioned (and did before) that she wanted to cuddle and asked me to stay the night. Well we both stayed on her couch although I didn’t get any sleep nor did she. One thing lead to another of course. That’s were it comes into question: what’s on her mind? She thanks me a few times, we talk for 2 hrs, she mentions how she feels bad for taking advantage of me (just for that situation I mean). I asked her many time’s what she wanted to do, but all I got like I said were mixed answers that I couldn’t pick anything from. She said everything from, “So if I see you around town I’ll give you a hug”, “I might call you….” “I like my comfy life right now where things are just the way they are”…. And lots more was said. Originally we had planned to get together on Saturday although now after asking a few times it seems that is up in the air. I told her I’d call her on Friday or send an email seeing if she still wanted, although I made clear nothing was expected, we would both know nothing is there, it’s just us getting together. She seems REALLY confused over what she wants, or maybe it’s me (I can’t tell you how many times tonight she said I was too much of a nice guy, even for her.) I did try and fix that by making some moves but I’m the type that won’t make any move on a girl unless I am 100% she wants it, but it seems from at least the girls I’ve dated they like someone who takes risks and will go for things. I left her place a few hrs ago and I’m really confused now L. Even if she doesn’t want a relationship right now, I told her that’s ok. I told her if anything happens, it happens but even I would not go into it expecting anything. She hasn’t dated anyone or been with anyone for 2 years and so she feels scared she said. Both in our mid twenties.
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Old 9th February 2006, 9:59 AM   #2
consumed
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 127
The more and more I think about last night, the most I get confused. She doesn't really want to hang out, she doesn't really want to call or me call her so what was last night about then? In her words from what I could understand it sounds like she wants to go back to her bookworm comfortable life where her surroundings are familiar, same friends, same schedule so that she doesn't get spooked. I don't get it.. not after last night. I thought she would have at least wanted to keep hanging out, well... maybe she will in the future.
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