This question is for anyone Man/woman who has found themselves in an emotional relationship. Can you tell me what your emotional relationship is all about? If you are married, he is married, what do you talk about? What do you say on the phone? What do you talk about in emails? The biggest question, what is said in those text messages? Please make me understand it all? Mostly what I want to know is what is said. What are the conversations like, and do you discuss sex?
I had an emotional affair (well currently am still involved in phone calls, and letters)...... Our relationship is probably similar to most except it isn't a sexual one...we've been intimate a handful of times but it was/is based mainly on emotions.....love and affection that he wasn't/isn't receiving at home. Right now due to circumstances beyond our control we're physically seperated but in letters we don't discuss sex, we talk about how we miss each other, what we've brought to each other's life........
Emails aren't possible because of where he is, nor are text messages but on the phone we talk about our days, what we've done, what we plan to do when we can be together again (not sexual acts, just hugging, kissing, ect)....
I can only explain my side and can't speak for others but in my case I got involved because a very strong emotional bond developed, we could sit for hours and not have to say a word, just looking into each other's eyes....we always knew what the other was feeling/thinking. He took care of me physically/emotionally and when I say physically I mean by affection...letting me know how much he cares by the little things as well as telling me.
For some who may ask why he doesn't leave his wife.....well he's asked me time and time again if he left her would I want to be with him (married to him and living together, ect).............though I would love that I always tell him that I don't wish for him to leave her. They have three young boys who need him because not only is she non-affectionate with him but them as well. (YES I know from first hand interaction with them on a daily basis).......
Anyway not every situation is the same but this is "my" circumstance.
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~ What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?~
Love is an easy word to say. Make him prove it with his actions.
This question is for anyone Man/woman who has found themselves in an emotional relationship. Can you tell me what your emotional relationship is all about? If you are married, he is married, what do you talk about? What do you say on the phone? What do you talk about in emails? The biggest question, what is said in those text messages? Please make me understand it all? Mostly what I want to know is what is said. What are the conversations like, and do you discuss sex?
Like any other relationship, every affair is different. Affair relationships are... well, relationships. Just one or both of the people involved is/are married.
My MM and I would talk at the beginning about our beliefs, values, families, jobs, etc. Text messages and e-mails were on the line of "I miss you's, I love you's" and that sort of thing. My MM lives in another state, so we only would see each other a few times a month, so we developed a strong emotional connection before the physical affair took off. He still wants to talk about the future with me, even though he says he "can't" leave his family right now. (Lots of money involved, reputation, religious values (he is a leader in a church, etc.) Anyway, I am in the process of walking away due to the fact that this has become too painful for me to continue in. But, to answer your question, we also discussed our physical relationship on rare occasions.
But, as everyone before me has said, every relationship is different. The physical aspect of this relationship was minute compared to the emotional ties to each other. And every relationship varies in that aspect.
Well...I'll start off by saying I didn't know I was the OW....he never told me he was married. We live 3 hrs apart so we didn't get to see each other often, and we communicated daily, for hours via email, pm, and phone.
As to what we talk about...we just had a wicked connection. We'd talk about everything...Barby said it well, we just connect on every level...talking about regular things like stuff that happened that day, plans for the future, when we'd see each other, etc...we'd also share intimate details about ourselves that we just didn't share w/ other people...secrets, fears, hopes, dreams, mistakes and lessons learned from the past. He was truly my best friend
We also had a strong physical attraction to one another, and talked about sexual things together quite often, but it certainly wasn't the only thing we discussed.
Mine started out the same as incognito. I didn't know I was the OW. He courted me...wined/dined, notes on lmy computer at work, phone calls for hours about anything and everything. Then I found out he was engaged and took myself out of that triangle.
I also didn't know that my MM was married at the beginning of the relationship. We would also talk on the phone daily for hours, e-mail and text message. My MM also courted me: flew me out for business trips, flew into town to see me, ate at the best restaurants, stayed at the finest hotels, made me romantic CD's, sent me flowers, candy, gift cards, etc. Amazing how we all seem to have the same type of story.....
Amazing how we all seem to have the same type of story.....
Call me naive but I never thought I would have to ask a man who was courting me if he was already in a relationship ( eventhough towards the end or our R i did question him and he repeatedly told me NO . ha!)
Last edited by BUTAFLY; 9th February 2006 at 6:24 AM..
I agree BUTAFLY. I never thought that I would have to ask if he was committed to someone else, and even though I did THE VERY FIRST TIME I SPOKE WITH HIM ON THE PHONE, he still denied it. Later told me it was a "knee jerk reaction" because he knew that if he told me the truth, I would never give him the time of day. He is absolutely right, I wouldn't have. Unfortunately, I was already hooked when he finally told me...just like you.
I agree BUTAFLY. Later told me it was a "knee jerk reaction" because he knew that if he told me the truth, I would never give him the time of day. He is absolutely right, I wouldn't have.
Ok your MM and my MM are reading from the same script because he said the same to me. "I knew you wouldn't give me the time of day if you knew"
DAMN RIGHT!!
You know, I think it is the dysfunction in THEIR lives that makes them the way they are. Perhaps they saw our strength and independence and wanted to be a part of it. I really feel that perhaps these MM are too weak to change their lives, so that is why they seek us out. Perhaps we represent what they wish they could be.
The biggest question, what is said in those text messages? Please make me understand it all? Mostly what I want to know is what is said. What are the conversations like, and do you discuss sex?
ok well i can tell you that the text messages that me and my om send back in forth are some general conversation such as hi how are you, did you have a good evening those types of things and then sometimes they are dirty very dirty him telling me what kinds of things he wants to do to me and me telling him the same.... and then sometimes we will send pics along with the text messages..... i am not going to go into any detail there but you can let your mind wonder..... so i am wondering why are you asking this question of us?
ive been having an affair with a married man for 5 months, wish id never started it really..but thats life i guess!!!
we talk on the phone everyday...we talk about everything. he texts me everyday too even at weekends when hes at home with his wife...and hell sneak out to call me too.
his texts are very sweet telling me how beautiful i am and how much he misses me , but its not easy this affair its hurts!!!
he is very open with his affections in public where ever we are....well heres hoping maybe one day!!!!
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OW tell me your side
Our relationship is probably similar to most except it isn't a sexual one...we've been intimate a handful of times but it was/is based mainly on emotions.....love and affection that he wasn't/isn't receiving at home. Right now due to circumstances beyond our control we're physically seperated but in letters we don't discuss sex, we talk about how we miss each other, what we've brought to each other's life........
What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?
Make him prove it with his actions.
0w Tell Me Your Side
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