[violet_21]

My boyfriend has been seperated for one year, and is getting a divorce.

Well, march 22nd will be one year since the seperation agreement was signed.

Basically, he is afraid for her to find out about me. He also doesn't want me to come to his lawyers office, and is kind of not letting me in on the procedure.

I don't know why, but I am trying to respect his feelings. The real problem is, I need to know whats going on.. I don't know how long it takes to have a divorce finalized, what has to happen, etc.. we are from Canada.

I am worried he is never going to tell her about me, I know he will but he is trying to drag it out as long as possible. Our relationship is good except the fact that I can't meet his family or spend much time with his kids because his ex doesn't know we are dating, just that we are friends.. UGH!

I really, really, really want this to be over with. Can anyone give me some advice, he is REALLY SCARED of her.. his biggest fear is her somehow getting angry and taking his kids.

Can someone please give me some advie how to handle this? I have a hard time talking about this with him because its a very very sore spot and he gets really upset. Pleeeease help!!!!!

[Ladyjane14]

It is inappropriate for you to involve yourself in someone else's divorce....much the same as interloping in someone's marriage come to that. Nothing but trouble will come of it.

If your "boyfriend" has left you guessing, perhaps you should question his motives. (????)

[maggiemay]

I agree with your BF, sorry if that's not what you want to hear

I just went thru a divorce and I was told by my lawyer it wouldn't look good if I started dating before it was final. I did but was VERY discreet. It just doesn't look good. We split on good terms but I didn't need anything to rock that boat.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally Posted by violet_21

I am at the divorce stage with my MM.

It has been 11 months since the seperation. We have been together for 3 1/2 years..

This is from the other thread in the OW/OM section. They 'dated' during the marriage, not only during the separation. Might shed some light onto the situation.

Do the husband and wife still live together? Sounds like you could be caught up with a cakeman.

[violet_21]

Hi there,

No, hes been seperated for a year almost now. He has his own house

I did post originally in the mm section a while ago, and was told i should post over here about divorce stuff by another poster.

I don't know what to do. ugh.

I read the cakeman description. I was the one that pursued him, he seems uninterested in me sometimes even I don't know description he would fall under but not a cakeman because, he hates me babying him, hates me giving him advice, hes neater than I am and, I totally had to chase him. I still am which is part of the reason things aren't so good.

[dgiirl]

Originally Posted by violet_21

Our relationship is good except the fact that I can't meet his family or spend much time with his kids because his ex doesn't know we are dating, just that we are friends.. UGH!

lol in other words, he's ashamed to be with you. Good catch there hun! You wont get any sympathy from me since you had to pursue a married man in order to get his attention. I think you're kinda screwed no matter what you do. First, you had to pursue him a LOT just to get him to notice and now you think that'll change? Also, the more you keep pestering him about his divorce, the more he's going to withdraw from you anyways. Ah, sweet sweet karma's coming knocking on the door.