Does anyone here believe that marriages can break up due to stressful money matters? I.E.- job hopping, being fired, starting new business ventures with no capital or experience, failing businesses, poor financial choices???
Do changes like this affect the other persons personna so much that you can fall out of love with them, or not be attracted to them anymore?? Example- wife has big time career, gets all dressed up, make-up, looking good, smelling good, fit, in shape, great attitude....then loses her job and becomes a house cleaner, wears jeans with stains and holes in them, t-shirts, smells funny, gains weight, looks tired and worn out all the time, hair a mess.....what does the husband do if he was attracted to her then.....but see's her now and can't stand it?? Do you stay married? Even with the stresses of money and the changes in looks and personality??
So it's not superficial to want your partner to be sucessful and help the family out with money matters? I thought being married with two incomes was going to make our lives eaiser, but the money has gone downhill since marriage. I hate to say it but I had everything under control and extra money too till I got married. I guess love isn't all it takes. And for better or worst is just something we say until we really feel the worst....then what do we do?
money matters have turned me off from my OH. I am so numb and sometimes a bit pissed about the whole thing. How can you get hot and heavy with someone who you feel isn't helping out or supporting like they should be?? we are just roomates living in the same house right now. It really sucks, but I cannot get the fuzzy feelings back due to money stresses.
That's a lot of changing for someone to do in a relatively short period of time. I'd worry about possible depression. She needs to get back into her old career again and regain some self-esteem.
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The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.
- Aristotle
Yes, marriages do end because of these things and it is superficial and means that they didn't really love the other at all. Love never fails, it is not selfish. In my vows I did say for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and so on. So yes, I would choose to stay married. Beauty is nice but it fades in both sexes. Hot and heavy has its place but love is more important and I can guarantee she is probably not feeling it from you, so she is saying to herself, why even bother.
I also agree about the depression, it is common when a person loses a job.
I'm going through that right now. I mke about $100-150 more money a week than my H & that I don't care about. It's the fact that I spend every penny on of my money on bill & our family while he gives me enough money to pay for daycare & graceries & just blows $100 on himself. then he'll ask me all week for gas money. It's very stressful struggling for money especially if you wouldn't have to if your husband would do his part.
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Last edited by Teag; 10th February 2006 at 2:36 PM..
You have expectations of marriage that are unrealistic and it doesn't sound like you really had much of a clue about what love is supposed to be. Go see a marriage counsellor with your spouse and get yourselves sorted out.
Yes, money problems can put a serious strain on a relationship. Exactly what did you vow to do when you got married? It sounds like you're more concerned about your wants/needs in this relationship than hers.
Unemployment is a terrible blow to one's self-esteem. Find a way to show your concern for HER sake, not for yours. You don't want to come off sounding like you want a trophy wife. And frankly, you do.
You have expectations of marriage that are unrealistic and it doesn't sound like you really had much of a clue about what love is supposed to be.
Yes, I'll admit my idea of marriage is different, not unrealistic.
Is it unrealistic to think that when you get married your other half would do anything possible to make the marriage work and run smoothly?
Is it unrealistic to go out and do something you don't like doing (job) in order to support your family instead of taking unessary risks?
Is it unrealistic to love you other half but finally feel like you can't handle anymore turmoil due to money issues?? There is only so much I can take. Love doesn't feed your kids, keep a roof over your head and clothes on your back!
If you love someone you do anything for them even if it means you really don't like it, so you can support your family. It's what I do, and I expect it in return.
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