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did she lie intentionally ?am I bad for checking up on her?

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Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 10th April 2000, 5:06 AM   #1
David Hill
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did she lie intentionally ?am I bad for checking up on her?

My Girlfriend who I have been seeing for about 14 months tends too forget too take the "pill" every now and then I subtly remind her about it ..last weekend in the morning I said too her "did you remember?" ,she said "I dont know".

What I did that night is makeing me suffer from really bad guilt while she was in the bathroom I checked the drawer where she keeps her contraceptive pill I noticed that she still had saturdays and sunday pill there (it was Sunday night),when she came out I said "did you remember too take the pill? she answered "yeah I took it earlier"..now I find myself in a bit of a bind ..the way I see it there are a few answers .

1.she thought she took it earlier and she thought she was telling the truth when she told me she had taken it .

2.she told a "white lie" too make me feel ok about it

3.she got the sequence out of order with the pills and I just got the wrong end of the stick

4.shes trying too get pregnant (not that im adverse too the idea of kids but i want it too be a mutual agreement between both of us).

what I want too know am I bad for being mistrusting .?

and should i ask her why she said what she said ?

or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and give her the benefit of the doubt ..
 
Old 10th April 2000, 6:41 AM   #2
Jesaco
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Re: did she lie intentionally ?am I bad for checking up on her?

Quote:
My Girlfriend who I have been seeing for about 14 months tends too forget too take the "pill" every now and then I subtly remind her about it ..last weekend in the morning I said too her "did you remember?" ,she said "I dont know". What I did that night is makeing me suffer from really bad guilt while she was in the bathroom I checked the drawer where she keeps her contraceptive pill I noticed that she still had saturdays and sunday pill there (it was Sunday night),when she came out I said "did you remember too take the pill? she answered "yeah I took it earlier"..now I find myself in a bit of a bind ..the way I see it there are a few answers . 1.she thought she took it earlier and she thought she was telling the truth when she told me she had taken it . 2.she told a "white lie" too make me feel ok about it 3.she got the sequence out of order with the pills and I just got the wrong end of the stick 4.shes trying too get pregnant (not that im adverse too the idea of kids but i want it too be a mutual agreement between both of us).

what I want too know am I bad for being mistrusting .? and should i ask her why she said what she said ? or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and give her the benefit of the doubt ..
Hi!

Instead of asking her, or reminding her about taking her pill, the two of you should sit down and talk about each of your views about having children.

This has been bothering you, and you have no idea how she feels about it. So the best thing to do is talk to her about it. This is how relationships are built.

Good luck,

Jesaco
 
Old 10th April 2000, 8:10 AM   #3
Nicky
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Re: did she lie intentionally ?am I bad for checking up on her?

Quote:
My Girlfriend who I have been seeing for about 14 months tends too forget too take the "pill" every now and then I subtly remind her about it ..last weekend in the morning I said too her "did you remember?" ,she said "I dont know". What I did that night is makeing me suffer from really bad guilt while she was in the bathroom I checked the drawer where she keeps her contraceptive pill I noticed that she still had saturdays and sunday pill there (it was Sunday night),when she came out I said "did you remember too take the pill? she answered "yeah I took it earlier"..now I find myself in a bit of a bind ..the way I see it there are a few answers . 1.she thought she took it earlier and she thought she was telling the truth when she told me she had taken it . 2.she told a "white lie" too make me feel ok about it 3.she got the sequence out of order with the pills and I just got the wrong end of the stick 4.shes trying too get pregnant (not that im adverse too the idea of kids but i want it too be a mutual agreement between both of us).

what I want too know am I bad for being mistrusting .? and should i ask her why she said what she said ? or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and give her the benefit of the doubt ..
First things first- DROP THE GUILT.

She has made herself responsible for contraception for the two of you, and has proved to be a failure at this.

You should be extremely concerned about this- parenthood is a huge responsibility, and she is playing with lives here. She is evidently not responsible, so you will have to be.

Your GF is either amazingly dizzy (I can recall when I've put pills in my mouth that morning), or it's worse.

If she wants children then this has to be one of the most selfish ways to go about it. What about your feelings? Where will it end? A poor friend of mine ended up having three kids, that he never wanted, b'cos his GF "inadvertantly" forgot the pill. Yeah right!

I think you have a trust issue here, and it could be major. I think you should talk.

I also think that you should (if you stay with her), both go to you doctor and discuss contraception. Currently, you cannot trust her to take the pill, so I suggest you take charge for your own sake.

For instance, there's a jab commonly available here (UK) called Depo-provera. Every third month you have a jab, and it means you will not conceive. It is literally the same as the pill without the aggro. They will tell her when she needs her jab, and YOU can go with her to make sure she has it.

Good luck!
 
Old 10th April 2000, 9:59 AM   #4
David Hill
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Posts: n/a
Re: did she lie intentionally ?am I bad for checking up on her?

Quote:
My Girlfriend who I have been seeing for about 14 months tends too forget too take the "pill" every now and then I subtly remind her about it ..last weekend in the morning I said too her "did you remember?" ,she said "I dont know". What I did that night is makeing me suffer from really bad guilt while she was in the bathroom I checked the drawer where she keeps her contraceptive pill I noticed that she still had saturdays and sunday pill there (it was Sunday night),when she came out I said "did you remember too take the pill? she answered "yeah I took it earlier"..now I find myself in a bit of a bind ..the way I see it there are a few answers . 1.she thought she took it earlier and she thought she was telling the truth when she told me she had taken it . 2.she told a "white lie" too make me feel ok about it 3.she got the sequence out of order with the pills and I just got the wrong end of the stick 4.shes trying too get pregnant (not that im adverse too the idea of kids but i want it too be a mutual agreement between both of us).

what I want too know am I bad for being mistrusting .? and should i ask her why she said what she said ? or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and give her the benefit of the doubt ..
Just thought id add a reply too my own message ..well i talked too her tonight and told her what I did turned out she did forget too take the pill,she didnt seem too upset about me checking up on her ..actually I think she was rather impressed with my forthrightness,I did mention the fact that I wasnt too happy about her forgetting all the time ..anyway thanks for the comments and advise ..
 
 

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