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Defense mechanism or losing interest?

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Old 6th February 2006, 5:10 PM   #1
Madeleine
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: At the bottom of an English country garden.
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Defense mechanism or losing interest?

Brief background information :

My boyfriend and i have been together for 1 year + 3 months and our realtionship has been fantastic throughout. We very rarely disagree or fall out over anything and the minor issues we have had have been solved quickly and without fighting. We've both met each others' friends and families, there's nothing untoward going on, no gut feelings or red flags.

The current situation :

He is due to take an overseas vacation in a few weeks to visit friends and their family, something he does approximately once every year. The fact he is going alone isn't an issue with me as i cannot take time out from work right now. Before he arranged this trip, he asked if i objected to him going, he told me he was concerned as his ex-girlfriend had ended their relationship upon his return from a visit with these friends. I told him i was ok with him going and he wasn't to worry. I could not accompany him the last time he went either, as i was overseas myself at the time.

My concern :

Recently, he has become a little emotionally distant, literally in the last few weeks. He is no less physically affectionate than usual, he still asks to see me the same amount and he still calls me at least once every day. He just seems a little distant and detached emotionally. Other than his "pet" name for me, the "special words" are missing from his conversations. He has also said things like "when i return from my trip, can we do so-and-so?" or "will you go such-and-such place with me?" which is unusual for him as he's normally rather disorganised! The exact same thing happened when he went overseas last year.

My question :

Could this be a defense mechanism in case i dump him like his ex did, or does it suggest he's losing interest in me?
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Old 6th February 2006, 5:14 PM   #2
a4a
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Perhaps there was a reason the ex broke up with him after his return? He sounds guilt ridden to me..... but that is just my opinion. probably wrong
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Old 6th February 2006, 5:55 PM   #3
Madeleine
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His relationship with this particular girl was relatively short-term, literally just a few months, and the break-up was apparently nothing to do with his trip overseas during their relationship and happened immediately upon his return.

Why would he be guilt ridden?
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