According to some women you husband is the ideal men. Honestly though I don't think it is normal or abnormal. It is all up to the individual and I don't think either choice is wrong.
Hah, great. Now we have to ask if not looking at porn is normal.
Men like these, who can be satisfied with you, and not need to rush off to a shallow picture-deep fantasy to satisfy themselves, are hard to come by these days. Be glad you've got one!
Porn, to me, is laziness. It's cheap gratification without the emotional side of a relationship... without the talking, the bonding, the support, and the love. I know many guys who sit in their dorm rooms drooling over a picture and wonder why they are single, when they don't bother to go out and take risks, meet girls, and form something that is true.
I'm glad my boyfriend, at least, prefers the real thing.
Men like these, who can be satisfied with you, and not need to rush off to a shallow picture-deep fantasy to satisfy themselves, are hard to come by these days.
Porn, to me, is laziness. It's cheap gratification without the emotional side of a relationship... without the talking, the bonding, the support, and the love. I know many guys who sit in their dorm rooms drooling over a picture and wonder why they are single, when they don't bother to go out and take risks, meet girls, and form something that is true.
*Steps off soapbox*
Let me guess...you don't even masturbate because OMG that would an orgasm w/o talking, bonding, love
I suppose it should be cause for celebration for you and me both with our hubbies uninterested in porn. Congratulations! My husband's not peeking a porn, but frankly I like porn and love doing porno-like things, but, no, not my hubby, he isn't. He's not even peeking at me. He's uninterested in all kinds of things, even vanilla stuff, like me nudely exercising or in my peekaboo bra. By the way he acts, you'd think I was a 500 pound gorilla. But, in fact, I'm very fit and love showing myself off to him, will and would do practically anything to get his attention, and shopping or going out, at the library or at work, not only men stare at me but women do, too! You get the idea. Nevertheless, ho hum... He'll say, "What would you want to do that for?" Or, "Sounds dirty to me..." Or, "Where do you get those ideas?" Or, "You know, I just don't feel like doing anything like that ..." But lately, I confess, I've quite given up ... What do most people suggest I do? Well, long ago I decided, "So what? What he doesn't even care to know, won't hurt him. And, truly, it hasn't. Myself, I've got quite a conscience for all truly serious crimes, but not these peccadilloes of mine.
My husband's not peeking a porn, but frankly I like porn and love doing porno-like things, but, no, not my hubby, he isn't.
I'm not surprised that he doesn't want to watch porn, because he can do porn with you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Babylonia Beaune
But lately, I confess, I've quite given up ... What do most people suggest I do?
I wish I knew! I tried to make my wife more sexually active over a few last years, but her needs are actually getting lower. She usually dislikes my ideas about trying new sex positions. But I get so much more from her than just sex (she's a loving and smart woman), that now I'm OK with our sex situation. I also hope that one day she will want more.
Last edited by Presario; 9th February 2006 at 12:07 AM..
you described the marriage I had up until I discovered my husband was a porn addict.
He acted that way because he was trying to keep his secret life completely hidden.
I never knew he had a problem with porn and nude salons because he only used during his work day. Otherwise he was always home on time and seemed like a great guy. Our sex life gradually dwindled down to once or twice a month max. I suggested we watch porn or use toys and he was never interested. I found out he had a problem the day he had a flat and took my car to work. I was outside with the kids in the driveway, noticed his car was full of junk/garbage and as a nice gesture I started to clean it out for him.
That's when I found the ripped up receipt for the nude salon. I called him at work, devastated... he came home and admitted he had a serious problem and that he had tried to stop many times. After that, our sexual history started making sense. I was always open to sex and pretty adventerous and I know I was more attractive than what he was looking at. I saw the girls that worked at the place he went to. They look like crack ho's... some were fat with cellulite. He had this problem since he was a little boy because there was always porn around in the home.
Maybe this is way off... but thought I would share because your post could have been written by me 7 years ago.
you described the marriage I had up until I discovered my husband was a porn addict.
He acted that way because he was trying to keep his secret life completely hidden.
I never knew he had a problem with porn and nude salons because he only used during his work day. Otherwise he was always home on time and seemed like a great guy. Our sex life gradually dwindled down to once or twice a month max. I suggested we watch porn or use toys and he was never interested. I found out he had a problem the day he had a flat and took my car to work. I was outside with the kids in the driveway, noticed his car was full of junk/garbage and as a nice gesture I started to clean it out for him.
That's when I found the ripped up receipt for the nude salon. I called him at work, devastated... he came home and admitted he had a serious problem and that he had tried to stop many times. After that, our sexual history started making sense. I was always open to sex and pretty adventerous and I know I was more attractive than what he was looking at. I saw the girls that worked at the place he went to. They look like crack ho's... some were fat with cellulite. He had this problem since he was a little boy because there was always porn around in the home.
Maybe this is way off... but thought I would share because your post could have been written by me 7 years ago.
Thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate the trouble you took. It was very nice of you not to condemn me. Now, here is my "True Confession." My husband, however, is not and has never been "already used up." He doesn't look at porn secretly nor does he have a little light o' love on the side. I wish he would! It might light his fire for me. You know, I went through a suspicious period soon our sex life began to deteriorate (about 2 years after we married and had our daughter). I mean, I paid some serious and thorough attention! I thought he was cheating on me. For six months I did this. No evidence whatsoever. I talked. I told him of my suspicions after those six months. Again, nothing. I couldn't stand the lack of interest. It drove me nuts. People say, Why didn't you divorce? Well, I love him and I know he certainly loves me. Plus, I hoped he would change and is a low sex drive and a kind of prissiness in the approach to sex cause to get a divorce? I don't know what people think. Everyone wants honesty in their loves, but it's easy to see why you can't have all that honesty if there is an inherent and exaggerated imbalance--one person is going to have to sacrifice a great deal to endure the imbalance. Everyone understands this about money but not about sex. I tried but I couldn't enjoy life without the sex I liked. I still share as much as I can of myself with my hubby. Some person--some wag--replied to a post of mine saying my hubby didn't need to look at porn since he had me... It's true I am pornographic with him. I do things to get his attention, other women wouldn't do those things. I still do those things, because I want to have a sex life with him. But he doesn't look at porn because he's just not interested in sex except a little bit. If I didn't assault him he'd probably just forget about sex completely ... It's sad. I've already posted elsewhere here the things I've done so I'm not going to tell more of them. I know people think "cheaters" should be burned alive. The same people will say a man without money is "lazy" and a woman should leave a lazy man or she should get a job and support him. My man is sexually lazy and can't lift a finger to change anything. I've already supported him sexually for many years. Should I leave him? Nah, I don't think so... What I will do, however, is continue being myself...
Myself, I've got quite a conscience for all truly serious crimes, but not these peccadilloes of mine.
What are your peccadilloes (little sins)???
I am with one of those "porn is the worst thing in the world" women. I know she is just threatened by the women on it and my lusting over anyone but her, but I play along. I personally like porn and see nothing wrong with enjoying it, or porn like acts, especially with your mate.
It's so funny, sad really how people like you end up with a person like your husband when there is a guy like me with someone like your husband. I know opposites are supposed to attract but that really sucks sometime.
Good thing I love her and she's hot... j/k
I'm hoping that she become a freak (with me, not a hoe) when she hits her 30's.... Dare to dream!
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Husband doesn't look at porn.
I tried to make my wife more sexually active over a few last years, but her needs are actually getting lower. She usually dislikes my ideas about trying new sex positions. But I get so much more from her than just sex (she's a loving and smart woman), that now I'm OK with our sex situation. I also hope that one day she will want more. 
Hybrid Mode
