[GoingDownSwinging]

So, I am about to take a MAJOR step towards NC. Me and my ex have still not managed to go a single day of NC. If I don't call him, then he calls me and if he doesn't call then I'll start to panic and end up calling him. It seems like a whole bunch of stupid games. Anyways, I am having some phone issues (due to networking problems, whatever that means) and my cell phone provider has basically said that I need to change my number in order to correct the problem. So, I have been debating for several days whether or not I should take the final step. I know that if I do change my number then I won't be tempted to call him and he won't be able to contact me. On the other hand, I am really really scared to let go. I have been through one really bad breakup about 2 years ago, and I thought I wouldn't survive. I am so afraid to let go now in fear that it will hurt just as bad or worse than my previous break up. My ex has made is clear that we won't be getting back together, his exact words were "You have a better chance of winning the lottery". But when I mentioned that I would be changing my number, he said "wait" and insisted that I gave it some time before I actually change it. I am so confused. I want to change my number for MYSELF, because I know that if he can't contact me then I won't be at all tempted to contact him. Serious advice needed!

[In Sync]

Originally Posted by GoingDownSwinging

... My ex has made is clear that we won't be getting back together, his exact words were "You have a better chance of winning the lottery". But when I mentioned that I would be changing my number, he said "wait" and insisted that I gave it some time before I actually change it. I am so confused.

Your ex has told you what?! and you are questioning whether or not to do NC, because he said "wait"? Uh, why are you so willing to allow yourself to let your happiness be determined by his mood swing? This is a question we've all had to come to before seeing the value of NC. Right now you are operating out of fear, the fear of going through the recovery of healing. The unknown. You would rather put up with confusion than face an inevitability that this relationship is over. He even told you as much. So any crumb of hope from him is enough to keep you hanging on...this is only going to lead to more confusion and pain.

Will it be rough to go through NC and stand on your own two feet with pride and confidence...yeah, but that's a much better payoff than hanging around living in perpetual fear of your ex's whim or rejection....you deserve better.

[GoingDownSwinging]

Thanks for your reply. Thats exactly what I needed to hear. I'm going to change it today and I'm not looking back...