As much as I love my fiance and hope that this lasts there is always the possibility that it won't. I have a lot of assets and if god forbid something happened to our marriage I want to protect them. Would be the proper way to approach this and women if a guy asked you for a prenup would you be offended?
As much as I love my fiance and hope that this lasts there is always the possibility that it won't. I have a lot of assets and if god forbid something happened to our marriage I want to protect them. Would be the proper way to approach this and women if a guy asked you for a prenup would you be offended?
Woogle - I wouldn't be offended. Just as I would protect my assets IF I ever remarried I would expect the same from his side.
This is especially important if one has any children from a prior marriage. The children should be first in line for consideration. Other considerations can be made for the spouse.
Don't be afraid to discuss it openly, if she is angry about it then you may want to contemplate your future.
I havent quite figured out what I think about prenups. To me its a battle in my mind, regarding moral issues vs. rational issues, and I dont know which one outweighs the other. I wouldnt be offended if my SO brought it up, though. (but hopefully we would have discussed it BEFORE we were engaged)
I think the best way someone could bring it up to me would be to sit down in a space w/out distractions and say that they had been wondering about my opinion on something. Then, tell me that a lot of people are doing prenups and that he wants to know what I think about them. As I tell him my opinion, he should stay open and take in what I say. He should not tell me his opinion or interrupt while I talk. (Can you tell I hate it when someone asks for my opinion and then challenges it?!?!?)
Anyway, thats the only way I can think of to bring it up to her. If she asks your opinion about it, tell her. If her views are very different from yours, just stay patient. You dont have to come to a conclusion right away. Its always okay for people to just give their opinions, sit on them for a while, and come to a conclusion later.
I'd be offended since you don't have children. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong in being offended but I would be. Your fiancee' is an older woman. Does she not have assets of her own? Would she ask YOU to sign a prenup or do you think she's the type of woman who would share all her "worldly goods" with YOU?
You are thinking with your head.. a prenup is a great idea for someone with your assets.
Your prenup and what it covers will change depending on the state you live in and the divorce laws of your state.
She should also seek an attorney and take your proposed prenup to him so she can be advised properly if she should sign it.
The attorney can help you with a presentation to her as well so when you discuss it with her you don't knock her off her feet and piss her off..
Like I said depends on the state laws.. a lot of prenups are simple and won't require a lot of explaining.
Get Legal Advise before you go anywhere with this first.. and remember that a prenup is supposed to protect BOTH parties not just one
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I'd be offended since you don't have children. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong in being offended but I would be. Your fiancee' is an older woman. Does she not have assets of her own? Would she ask YOU to sign a prenup or do you think she's the type of woman who would share all her "worldly goods" with YOU?
If she wants me to sign a prenup I am more than willing. While we are married we will both share but things happen and I want to protect myself just in case. She has her own stuff as well.
If she wants me to sign a prenup I am more than willing. While we are married we will both share but things happen and I want to protect myself just in case. She has her own stuff as well.
I'm with woogle on this one. I would sign a prenup so she keeps her stuff. before marriage.
I literally asked an older woman to marry me and offered an interesting prenup. I would sign over everything we owned during the marriage. I believe if something happened, I can still recover w/o her.
A pre-nup is a good idea and nothing more than writing your own rules in the event of a dissolution of the marriage. If you don't have a pre-nup the state already has one for you. So no matter what you do pre-nup or no pre-nup there are rules to follow when a marriage dissolves.
You can be sitting with your attorney and get him to bring it up and explain the personal benefits to her. You can also put in a cheating clause or something similar if she argues that you're not committed to the marriage. You might be surprised how well she takes it.
I think it could also protect her if you, say, lost everything and ran up a personal debt. Maybe unlikely, but perhaps worth bringing up to state your case.
Last edited by magda; 3rd February 2006 at 2:18 AM..
My so is moving in at the end of March to my house which is owned in my name (my mortgage...!). Therefore I have agreed with him that we will have a 'living together' agreement drawn up which is effectively a legal agreement which states that he is not paying half the mortgage, but is 'renting' from me. And that he does not, in the case we part ways, have any rights to the property.
It isn't because I think he'd do that, it isn't anything other than protecting my assests. I've been stung before, left with debt etc.
At the time of marriage the house will no doubt be transferred to both our names. But until that point, it seems wise to protect oneself.
Considering about 50% of marraiges fail, I don't understand why some people are enraged by prenups.
Marriage is not just about love. It's about sharing life responsibilities, working together as a team, disagreements and compromises, a constant-give-and-take.
Marriage is a lot like a business, not just fluffy hearts and rainbows and kittens.
In the event two people grow apart, a pre-nup can spare a lot of heart break, fighting and bitterness.
Lots of lawyers get rich on people fighting to the bitter end over property and assets.
[quote=JayKay]Marriage is not just about love. It's about sharing life responsibilities, working together as a team, disagreements and compromises, a constant-give-and-take.
Marriage is a lot like a business, not just fluffy hearts and rainbows and kittens.
[quote]
It is a business deal in so many senses. A contract for both parties to meet the expectations that should be outlined before the contract is entered into.
Well, I guess I'm just the old-fashioned one here. I just can't see starting out a marriage with the idea that it may fail. And I know it CAN fail. My first marriage did. We had no prenup but we just agreed to keep what we had when we entered the marriage and split what we acquired during the marriage. No prenup, no fights. It was civil.
Life is a gamble sometimes. And I ABSOLUTELY understand those who want to protect their assets and have a prenup but honestly, I'm not sure I'd ever agree to such a thing. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth on a few levels. And yes, as I said, I'd be offended if it were ever brought up to me. But that's just me. Hopefully, it's not her!
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