I have basically lost all interest in all things *social*. You name it - friendship, dating, *games*, competition, *getting ahead*, etc. I am through with all of it.
I have never understood what motivates people to do what they do... especially when it comes to *relating*. Is it to fill some hole or void inside? Is it purely for ego? Whatever it is apparently I will never know.
This site and all of you are like aliens to me. I will never *get* any of you just as none of you will ever *get* me. I don't understand the point of all of this - in fact I don't even understand the point of existence. I get up, eat, go to work, have a little fun in my spare time, go to bed. That's it. Just the motions, ma'am.
What is it all supposed to lead to I'll never know. I know that I am mortal and in a few years it will all be over. The world will still turn and that's cool.
I dunno why I'm saying any of this... I doubt anyone here will really understand it just as I do not understand any of you.
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I dunno about the rest of you but I think if everyone in the world had an orgasm at the same time we would achieve world peace.
You are not the first to suffer this, nor will you be the last.
Read Viktor Frankl. "Man's Search for Meaning" -- he survived 5 years in Auschwitz and claims to have discovered a way to finding meaning. THe book is his philosophical treatise, including his experience in the Nazi death camp as his philosophical proof.
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I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.
I "gave up" the striving a couple years ago and have never been happier. I have made it possible to do what I want to do. I have no desire to be a manager or get ahead in some company. I simply don't care. Have no desire to have some fancy house and car. Don't care. Except for the bf, I'm pretty much a hermit. I don't go out and socialize and I have no desire to. I don't care about the latest sitcom or what some celebrity did. I feel fortunate to not be married, to be an empty nester and just do what I feel like doing.
I have basically lost all interest in all things *social*. You name it - friendship, dating, *games*, competition, *getting ahead*, etc. I am through with all of it.
winter time Blues maybe ?
i know where your coming form.. When I lose all interest in social things I sink myself back into either my job or my projects till my interest comes back
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~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~
i know where your coming form.. When I lose all interest in social things I sink myself back into either my job or my projects till my interest comes back
Has nothing to do with the season. Funny, but I actually enjoy the winter.
This is a permanent loss. It isn't a fleeting thing. This is a complete lack of understanding of what makes people *tick*.
SF, your walls seem up and you're scared of being hurt, misunderstood by people.
PEOPLE need people! We all need interaction, we need to be appreciated, to be heard and understood.
Do you ever just talk to people for no reason? While shopping, or just standing in line at the bank? I do. Not all the time but once in a while I get to have a really neat conversation with someone that really brightens my day.
Maybe it is the winter time blues, like A_C said, I don't know.
My question though is, do you miss interaction, stimulation with people, friends etc...Are you happy with your life now? Do you wake up with a smile on your face?
Ultimately there is no greater meaning to anything. You infuse meaning yourself into your interactions and the world itself. You will find no meaning to anything externally. That's how life is.
SF, your walls seem up and you're scared of being hurt, misunderstood by people.
Nope, nothing to be *afraid* of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by whichwayisup
We all need interaction, we need to be appreciated, to be heard and understood.
See, I am starting to believe that I don't *need* that anymore. I have been without it for so long that it really doesn't matter anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by whichwayisup
Do you ever just talk to people for no reason? While shopping, or just standing in line at the bank?
No and the reason I don't is simply because people will not do that with me. Call it *learning from others*.
Quote:
Originally Posted by whichwayisup
My question though is, do you miss interaction, stimulation with people, friends etc...Are you happy with your life now? Do you wake up with a smile on your face?
I've been without that interaction for so long that I can say with honesty that I don't miss it. I dunno... I guess I'm just curious as to why people seem to need it.
I can say that I am *happy* with certain aspects of my life. That's about as close to *happy* as I will get.
I wake up with a smile on my face when it is a Saturday or Sunday morning.
I've been without that interaction for so long that I can say with honesty that I don't miss it. I dunno... I guess I'm just curious as to why people seem to need it.
Years ago there was an environmental activist who scoffed at social interaction and decided to make a go of it alone, in a cabin in Alaska. Apparently he went insane and killed himself after a few years, during an especially hellish winter. Cabin fever to the extreme.
Primates are social creatures. The reason that your brain is as big as it is is largely to govern the complexities necessary for social interaction. If primates weren't social, our brains would be smaller.
But the questions you ask, even though people are making a good effort, are philosophical ones that have already been explored. The philosophers who spent their careers addressing these questions have better, more concise answers for you, AFAIK.
John Locke's idea of the social contract explains why we choose to have governments that dictate certain aspects of personal life rather than being completely independent.
Unfortunately the way our modern society is structured often cuts people off from social contact. Some reasearchers theorize that this has been the cause of the stratospheric rise in diagnoseable mental illness since the industrial revolution.
Years ago there was an environmental activist who scoffed at social interaction and decided to make a go of it alone, in a cabin in Alaska. Apparently he went insane and killed himself after a few years, during an especially hellish winter. Cabin fever to the extreme.
I've considered doing something similar - and still am considering it.
Think of the film "The Shining." The Jack Nicholson character signed on to stay at this huge hotel for five months during the winter. He was asked if he could handle the isolation. He said he could.
Turned out that he really couldn't handle it. He tried to murder his wife and son who were with him. Perhaps he may have been able to handle it if he was truly alone instead of having that social contact via his family.
So, you don't need people. You don't want to rely on anybody but yourself. You don't feel the need to get to know or put yourself out there for others. That is fine if you're truely happier that way. Maybe you're one of the few who honestly doesn't mind being alone.
I need people in my life. There's a big difference of needing space and time on your own, than BEING alone, isolating oneself.
I say if you give a little and put positive energy out there, make yourself approachable, people WILL react well to it.
Quote:
See, I am starting to believe that I don't *need* that anymore. I have been without it for so long that it really doesn't matter anymore.
IT doesn't have to be that way though. Unless you prefer it.
I've had similar thoughts, SF, don't get me wrong. I have a personality type that 99% of the popultation just doesn't jive with.
For me, I think that interaction with others kind of "normalizes" my behavior. Otherwise, if left to my own devices, I tend to behave "efficiently" and I lose the social graces that other people value. Like, I curse a lot. A helluva lot. I forget that other people find this offensive sometimes.
Honestly I could take it or leave it, most of the time. Mostly I take it because the way our society is structure kind of MAKES you take it.
My parents are the same way. They have friends, but rarely socialize. If ever. They are fine with it. My older sisters are sociable, but I'm like my parents in that way.
I think in the old days there were outlets for people like that....my dad's grandfather was a land prospecter and spent months by himself clearing land he purchased to re-sell at a profit once it was cleared for settling. He was fine with it, found a career which kind of allowed him to indulge his desire for solitude and make cash at the same time.
whenever I'm in one of my anti-people modes I will go up to my cabin for the entire weekend from friday thru sunday .. I see nobody and speak to nobody.. by sunday night I'm going to the store just to be able to talk to someone..
3-4 day weekends can be a killer when I'm anti-social..
My point exactly. I believe people weren't meant to be on their own. Some choose to be, but it doesn't have to be that way.
I know I'd be lonely as hell. I need my friends, my family and most of all my husband. I need to feel needed too. There's nothing worse for me than not being needed.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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