Well, tonight was supposed to be a celebratory evening for DH and I. He purchased me a car. I've never had my own car. I am 30 years old and this is "MY FIRST CAR!". My husband was so proud to get me this car tonight. He phoned his mom to let her know, and I could tell that whatever it was she was saying, was dissapproving. I didn't ask though.

But, we went out to eat (to drive the car) and when we got back, the light on the answering machine was flicking. We of course, stopped and pushed the button to listen in, and what we heard was not an intentional message.

What we heard was inadvertantly left on our machine by someone that did not realize that their phone had dialed mine and they were now being recorded...

The main jist of it was that I could tell that at least 2 sister in laws of mine, mother in law, and father in law were there from the voices, and what I know for sure was said- what was def. was spoken by my m-i-law who said:

"So, why does she need a car- it's not like she's going to get a job now."

There was a bit more unintelligable words and then the line cut out.

I have always felt like an outsider in my inlaws family. We had to pay for my mother in law's lunch at Spagetti Warehouse just to get her to show up to our Justice of the Peace, courthouse wedding. BUT- she's paying for one of my sister i nlaws to get married in Vegas later this year. (it's not a financial issue.) I've always felt uncomfterable and left out, and DH always brushes it off as I'm being paranoid. LIttle by little, things have happened over the years to reinforce how I feel, but I don't pursue the matter, because nothing good will come of it.

Now, I am beside myself. M-I-L pays for S-I-L's bounced checks, whims etc. etc. She also has always provided baby sitting for all of her "blood" grandkids. Never for my son- who has is 8 and I've been w/ DH for 7 of those years. She's never even offered. There's always been a difference there- but I've never pushed it. I'm not jealous, and in a way- I am happy that whom ever it was that was dumb enough not to realize what had happened, did it- because now DH can't refute the situation, and can't go "it's all in your head, you're just paranoid."

For further info: I do not work. I am a s-a-h-m. DH has never wanted me to work. We are not starving. We don't shop at Neiman Marcus for our toilet paper, but we do alright. DH has always made a point of evening saying that he wants me to stay home.

So. What do we do? Do I just let it go and grin and bear it? Does DH say something and risk alienating the old bat? What do you think?

Thanks

[Outcast]

It wasn't that bad. Accept that you're not their favourite person. They have bad taste Really, don't let this bother you. It sounds like you have a great husband and that's all that really counts.

[Ladylay]

She is imo jealous of you, and the fact you dont need her help.
She probably loves the fact she helps out your S-I-L.
She obviously loves letting everyone know.

Do I just let it go and grin and bear it?

Naw pull up in your shiny new car throw her your biggest smile and ask her if she "wants to take a spin"

She sounds like someone who loves the power over people who need her help.
Which you dont.
As for babysitting your child, do you really want her to.She will probably be going through your private papers before you reach the end of the Rd.

[Sneakee Monkee]

Thank You both for your replies. I do want to feel like I am overreacting (mostly because this really isn't anything new for me- rather humorous that they can't figure out how to use a phone)...

BTW- I ended up getting an even BETTER car today (I took a car home last night)- I didn't sign my papers till today, and the car I've wanted since they've been redone in 2000- an Impala- was said to be out of our budget yesterday so I settled on a 2005 Taurus- And some how it came up in converstation with the manager, and he was able to get in me in my dream car for 11 bucks more a month! :O) YAY! Now I've got an 04 IMPALA!!!!!!!!

You BETCHA that I can't wait to go rollin up with a grin! ) Thank you for the comfort and understand, advice and room to vent!!!