Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I've always been very secure with myself and have never been the jealous type, but my boyfriend will do things on purpose to get to me. He has even admitted he does things to see what my reaction will be. If we watch a movie, he'll say, "I'd f*** her." Not, "She's attractive," or anything tame like that, but a blatant "I'd f*** her." There is a Tomb Raider poster in my workout room and he looked at it and said, "I'd f*** her." When we go out to dinner, he'll flirt with the waitress. Also, he'll look behind me and keep smiling and then look at me and say, "What?" Eventually, I'll turn around to see what he's looking at. I try not to let it get to me, but my gosh, when he looks and smiles it is at almost EVERY woman. It's getting to a point where my heart starts to sink whenever we're together and a decent looking woman is there, because I know how he's going to react. I'm a former model, and I've always had high self-esteem, but I have never felt more unattractive than when I'm with him. I've never had anyone treat me this way. I never get mad, but get a little teary-eyed after it happens over and over. He tells me I'm just too jealous. I don't see that. I think he's being excessive. I know people look, but does he have to say things like, "I'm young and there are a lot of hot women in the world and I'm going to look at them." Or "I am not going to pay attention to just you when there are so many hot women in the world." I just don't understand how those types of comments can be okay? He's in his twenties, but I feel like I'm with a high schooler. He's breaking my heart (for other reasons as well as this one). Any thoughts?
Last edited by Raven1845; 31st January 2006 at 6:33 PM..
Why do we put up with this!!!???
As women we need and deserve to feel like the best prize to be won, IMO. We want to feel loved, sexy, and cherished.
I know how you feel. It is one thing to say "wow" at a sexy scene in a movie, but it sounds like he is intentially trying to break you.
Think about the Bull Sh*t you are putting up with now and think about what he will be putting you through in a year or 5 or 10. Is it worth it? You deserve to be someones Queen, especially your own.
I've always been very secure with myself and have never been the jealous type, but my boyfriend will do things on purpose to get to me. He has even admitted he does things to see what my reaction will be. If we watch a movie, he'll say, "I'd f*** her." Not, "She's attractive," or anything tame like that, but a blatant "I'd f*** her." There is a Tomb Raider poster in my workout room and he looked at it and said, "I'd f*** her." When we go out to dinner, he'll flirt with the waitress. Also, he'll look behind me and keep smiling and then look at me and say, "What?" Eventually, I'll turn around to see what he's looking at. I try not to let it get to me, but my gosh, when he looks and smiles it is at almost EVERY woman. It's getting to a point where my heart starts to sink whenever we're together and a decent looking woman is there, because I know how he's going to react. I'm a former model, and I've always had high self-esteem, but I have never felt more unattractive than when I'm with him. I've never had anyone treat me this way. I never get mad, but get a little teary-eyed after it happens over and over. He tells me I'm just too jealous. I don't see that. I think he's being excessive. I know people look, but does he have to say things like, "I'm young and there are a lot of hot women in the world and I'm going to look at them." Or "I am not going to pay attention to just you when there are so many hot women in the world." I just don't understand how those types of comments can be okay? He's in his twenties, but I feel like I'm with a high schooler. He's breaking my heart (for other reasons as well as this one). Any thoughts?
Are you freaking kidding me? There is NOOOOOO way I would put up with that. It's very disrespectful.
I'm all about respect. If you do not respect yourself enough to put up with this, then how can you expect a man to respect you?
Lose this guy. Tell him that since there are so many hot women in the world that he feels like he needs to look at and comment on, instead of cherishing the beautiful woman that he's with, that you hate to hold him back from exploring possibilities with all of those women- so don't let the door hit him in the azz on the way out!
It sounds to me as though he's specifically pushing you for a reaction. What a twat.
Have you tried speaking to him about these comments? Have you told him how completely disrespectful they are?
I'd kick him to the curb personally.
You all are so wonderful. Thank you so much for your input.
Yes, LittleKitty, I've talked to him about it several times. I tell him it isn't so much that I'm jealous, it's that I'm hurt by the disrespect. His reply is always the same, "I'm not going to change, and you're too jealous."
He wasn't like this at first, of course. He was a sweetheart . . . drew me in . . . I got hooked . . . then . . . BAM! Welcome to the real me, Raven!
I've talked to him about it several times. I tell him it isn't so much that I'm jealous, it's that I'm hurt by the disrespect. His reply is always the same, "I'm not going to change, and you're too jealous."
Too jealous would have been hitting him upside the head for just looking without his immature comments added in.
All men look from time to time. As long as my husband does so respectfully I have no problem with it, I know he's not going to stray. The comments are what to me is over the top, and the flirting.
If he thinks he'll ever get a decent woman to put up with that kind of behavior well then he will be lonely for a long time!
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