[Little123]

Me and my boyfriend are both 24 years old and have been together for almost 2 years. We are both in the military and love each other very much. He has a son with another woman from a previous relationship. The problem is I am very much not a kid person. It hasn't started bothering me until recently because a few things have occured that made me aware of his presence in our relationship. He only has custody of him every other weekend but those weekends are very hard for us. Besides that are relationship is the best anyone could have. I am definatly willing to push through this because we love each other so much and I would never want to intrude on their relationship, but its hard for me. I'm sure I sound very selfish but I can't help feeling inferior to his kid. I just got relocated to a different station so I don't know many people and need someone to talk to for some advice. Any thoughts on how I can learn to accept and deal with this? Thank you for your help.

[Walk]

Not sure I have any great advice. I'm in the military (reserve though) but know how hard it is at a new base.

Don't feel bad if you're not ready to take on your bf's child. Just continue to be as supportive of him as possible. Be open minded, and as understanding of his responsibilities and obligations as possible. I know it can feel as though your playing second fiddle, but at this point it's important that he put his child first. He wouldn't be much of a man if he didn't. So although it's stressful, and feels a little lonely, just remind yourself it's not forever. Children grow up. And one day you may want your own.

Besides, being in the military means you've got the stregth of will and ability to do what's best for all in any situation. Use that to your advantage.

And if you just want to vent, come here and vent away. We may not understand everything you're going through, but we'll try. And you might find a suggestion or two that you can use.

Good luck.

[incognito]

You can't break the bond between a parent and a child...and one really shouldn't even try. If you want to stay w/ your BF and work on things...then I'd say your best bet is to take some interest in the child, learn about him, spend some time w/ him and get to know him. And if you really don't want to do that...then I would suggest re-evaluating your entire relationship w/ your BF. That child is always going to be there and he's always going to be a part of your BF's life. You need to really ask yourself which is more important to you...being w/ your BF or not being part of a child's life. Also, keep in mind that, you are not his mom, and never will be....so you shouldn't be expected to to replace his own mother, but you should be supportive of your BF and his love for his child.