back in august, i was travelling and i sent a girl a smile on an internet dating site, and we began chatting. To be honest, because i´m english but live in spain, i really joined as a way of chatting to women as its quite isolated for me here. i would chat to somebody for a while as friends but usually after a month or two things would tail off. I would get a lot of people talking to me etc, and we began chatting in august and at the time paid little real attention as my mind was occupied (backpacking at the time).
We got on really well chatting platonically, and she said in passing that she did like me, but as we lived so far apart that se wasn´t going to think about it. i may have noticed that she seemed a little pained in saying this, but we went ack to normal chat for some time.

Then a couple of months ago one thing led to another and we began to chat sexually over the internet which we both enjoyed. This persisted for a while until the point of meeting came up again, and this time we were both pretty pesimistic about the whole thing (at least i was). General chat ensued for a bit, untill things took a sexual turn again this week, her being a lot more liberated, and she said she felt better for it. For the last month or so i have said to her that if ever she wants to come here for a holiday she is welcome (she lives in a very dull boring rainy part of england and i live in an apartment by the beach in spain) so I figured this would be the best way to go, as i would like to do some sightseeing this year, and go to madrid, barcelona etc and other places in spain.

She has wanted to meet me for a while now, and I would like to as well, however she is 20 and a uni student, i´m 22 and in full time work, (not massively well paid, but enough to be content for now). I have said to her that if she can make it down to spain (the flights about 100 pounds) then i would take care of the rest (probably about 1000 pounds). trouble is she only works two days a week in a bar. I don´t mind being generous etc, but i feel that i need to see some kind of effort on her part to want to see me before i pay a lot of cash out on this trip etc. i feel that it is easy to say something online, she has said that she really wants to be with me etc, but i´ve had a bad experience with a long distance before (we knew each other first and then parted that time).

on one hand i feel as though i´m being cheap, but on the other hand i need to see some kind of proof that she means what she says because of the bad experience that i had. also she says she wants to quit uni, but i feel she may be making a bad decision and not thinking it through, and i don´t want her wanting to see me to affect her education trying to save to see or stay with me.

Am I doing the right thing?

[StacyRose]

The same thing happened when I was in an LDR.. he visited me 1st.. then when it came time to visit him.. he "offered" but wasn't really insistent. So, I paid for my own flight. But, since then.. he paid for all of my flights. But, I'm still annoyed that he "allowed" me to pay for the first flight. It's not gentleman like.. plus.. I was still a student and he was working full time. But, he was making quite a bit of money... so it depends on that too. If you really can afford it, I think you should just pay for her flight. It would be another thing if she was working full-time, but she isn't for now. If you really like her.. it should be worth it, right?

But, if she drops out of University, that could be a bad sign.. maybe she doesn't want to take care of herself.. and you can't have a woman who is overly dependent.