[the_opposite_sex]

yea the title sounds unbelieveable i know...but here's the story. Yes when me and my fiance split up a little over a year ago, he hooked up a girl at his work once. It was meaningless, he was just after some and it just happened one night...which he regrets. BUT last night at the bowling alley, a bunch of ppl from his work got together for a "goodbye" thing b/c one of the guys he works with was transfering to another store (my fiance works at Best Buy) =P So he was bowling and I decided not to. This girl (the one he slept with) was sitting at the table next to me. Then all of a sudden these 2 drunk guys come and sit down at my table and talkin to me. Well my fiance didn't notice it b/c he was bowling, so the girl got his attention and said "hey these 2 guys over here seem to be bothering your fiance" and i thought that was pretty cool of her and i told her i appreciated that, so we just kinda hit it off from there and she came over to my table and we started chatting. I showed her my engagement ring and she was just in awe about how gorgeous it was and congratulated me. And when we left she gave both me and him a hug and said we should go out sometime.

Since I have a bad habit of gettin stuck in the past, my fiance thought it was pretty cool that i've taken a liking to her...i mean he's still friends with her at work and says he talks to her on a regular basis and nothing at all has been weird, he said she's just like any of the other girls at work. But i need opinions here.....

[Barby]

I'm glad that you were able to move past your previous jealousy issues and be-friend this girl. In all honesty I think it wouldn't be a very good idea for the two of you to "go out" or "hang out" with this girl for the simple fact that you'll see how well they get along, how friendly they are, ect.

I must say that if you still haven't fully over-came these issues that have tormented you and your relationship in the past then be-friending this girl could be very destructive. If in fact these issues still remain seeing your fiance and his one night stand together being friendly, chatting, laughing, physically interacting, ect may bring about thoughts/doubts on how friendly they really are when you're not there. How well their work relationship "really" is....ect. It may cause you to doubt him and un-ravel all the work you've done as far as over-coming, forgiving him, ect.


Evaluate how you really feel about this then go from there and decide if in fact you really want to be friends with her or if keeping your space would be the best option for you and your relationship. Good luck!

[Curmudgeon]

a related situation and survive it. I'm talking about so called "second wives" who marry previously married men with children from a first marriage which means constant contact with the ex.

It's all a matter of approach. Obviously there's nothing inappropriate between them and it sounds like she's a likeable person so I don't see the harm under both those circumstances.

Face it, you both had lives before you got together.

[the_opposite_sex]

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Face it, you both had lives before you got together.

well we were split up....we had already been together for about 3 1/2-4yrs when we split.

And to be completely Barby, i've never minded them talking and stuff at work. I know how he feels about her and the situation that happened...and I know how he feels about me, and I now have the ring to prove it So if we were to go out w/ her, i dont think it'd bother me to see them laughing and carrying on. Something kinda odd that did happen at the bowling alley that I didnt mention when I started this thread off is that she just randomly sat on his lap for a second...right in front of me...afterwards we were both like, "what the hell was that all about?" We both thought it was kinda odd, but then again we came to the conclusion that we didn't think she ment anything by it and thats just her personality. Her roommate is like that too.