Going that extra mile for spouses /so

lilmoma1973 · 19th January 2006, 3:16 PM

Why should we go the extra mile for our h's or significant other's when they don't for us ? I understand doing the basic such as cooking and cleaning .. But the extra things is what i am talking about..

19th January 2006, 4:23 PM

Most people go the extra mile because either they don't mind it, want to impress the other, do it in hopes that if their spouse sees them going the extra mile it will make them go the extra mile as well. In most cases if they do it in hopes to get the other one to go the extra mile, chances are it wont work. I have been in a similar situation where I did and did and did for my spouse, and never got anything in return. By choice, I chose to get out of the marriage. I'm not one to do everything or go the extra mile if someone can't meet me half way.

lilmoma1973 · 19th January 2006, 5:36 PM

So you got out of your marriage .. Did you find someone new and is things better with your new man? My friend and i was talking how she was doing for her h anymore if he wasn't never doing for her!! That is why i made this post to see what people thought, cause she said she wasn't going that extra mile anymore ..what did she get out of it?

19th January 2006, 5:45 PM

No I don't have anyone else right now. My divorce became final about a year ago. After almost 15 years of marriage and 2 daughters later, I realized things were not going to change. I went the "extra mile" for the majority of my marriage in hopes things would change, and they didn't. Not saying it wont work for your friends situation but for mine it didn't. It got tiring and boring to say the least, and this was after marriage counseling as well, with him promising he would do more, be there more etc, etc. It didn't change. So I changed it for the better by getting out of the situation. Some people may disagree with that, and thats fine but people have to do what they feel is best for their situation. They either accept it and continue to put up with the BS or they get out. Life is to short and precious to live in a vicious cycle.

lilmoma1973 · 20th January 2006, 1:28 PM

Yeah my friend is slowing realizing that her h is selfish and inconsiderate and that isn't planning on changing till she does something drastic and make a move to make him leave!!

20th January 2006, 2:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilmoma1973

Yeah my friend is slowing realizing that her h is selfish and inconsiderate and that isn't planning on changing till she does something drastic and make a move to make him leave!!

He shouldn't have to be the one to leave nor can she make him. If she is that unhappy about things she needs to be the one to leave.

lilmoma1973 · 20th January 2006, 2:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoulSista

He shouldn't have to be the one to leave nor can she make him. If she is that unhappy about things she needs to be the one to leave.

She says that he will go not her!!

20th January 2006, 6:37 PM

And her plan for that is what? How is it she will get him to leave? Shes the one that seems unhappy so why bump someone else our the house because shes miserable.