[StarbrightSB]

Ok here is my story. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now. It hasn't been perfect, but it has still been pretty good. ON my 21st birthday, A bunch ofmy friends, and some of his friends and his cousin went out. The story is long, but the jist of it is that his cousin was telling people that J (my boyfriend) was callingmy friends sluts (he didnt say these things). He also tried to convince J to break up with me, but then told me that i was like a sister to him, then when everything else didnt go his way, he paid the bouncer to kick me out of the club. He was just going behind everybodies backs and spreading rumors and lies and none of it was true. I got really upset and ended up leaving the club crying in front of all my friends, which was pretty humiliating for me.

Now once we got all the stories staright and figured out who was saying what, everyone else was gone except my boyfriend, my best friend and I. So i asked J to talk to his cousin and figure out what was going on. Well that was over 2 months ago and he still hasn;t done it. I am pretty mad at his cousin, but i dont want to confront him myself because i will probably cry then say horrible thing that i probably shouldn't.

J was going to see his cousin on the wekend, so i asked him to talk to his cousin about it and i explained how i felt and why it was important. I get so angry whenever i talk about it that i cry so he really should know how much this upsets me!

So he didnt bother talking to his cousin about it on sunday. When i phoned him on monday, he told me this and i admit i was disapointed. He has been telling me for 2 months that he would, and all he did on the phone was promise again that he would. I can;t really believe his promise though cause its been forever and he's made no effort.

Now, he was suppost to call me on tuesday. I e-mailed him and i told him how upset i was and i explained in depth how i felt and he still hasn't bothered calling. (its late wednesday).

I know this probably sounds minor, but i feel as if i have been punched in the gut for no reason and i don;t know why. I was always on very good terms with his cousin and all i want to know is why. I have no problem asking him myself, but i know that when i am angry I will start to cry and i will probably be really rude, and i dont want to ruin relations with J's family and make thingsworse, i just want to know why! It feels like J won't stand up for me and that everyone else comes first.

I guess i jus want to know if i am over reacting and waht i should do! Thanks!

[Lil Honey]

Your boyfriend keeps telling you that he will talk to his cousin, hoping that you will eventually get over it or forget about it.

Was his cousin drinking when he shot his mouth off? Is this really SO important that it is affecting your life? If it is, you should take your issues to his cousin directly rather than have your boyfriend "do the dirty work" for you. You said that you won't confront him because you are afraid that you will cry and say something that can't be taken back. Well, you have to rehearse what you want to say, buck up, and just do it . . . or leave it in the past.

Your boyfriend probably doesn't see it as a big deal and is blowing the whole confrontation thing off. Afterall, it may make things worse between the three of you.

If this has caused ill-feelings within you, then don't spend time with the cousin any more. Then, if he asks you why, you can tell him.