Talk to her about it. Let her know that it bugs you. If she loves you and cares about you, she'll reconsider. Otherwise, do as the above posters suggested.
Talk to her about it. Let her know that it bugs you. If she loves you and cares about you, she'll reconsider. Otherwise, do as the above posters suggested.
I have already told her, she is still going to do it. She says she cant have someone stop her doing something because she may resent being with me.
I cant stop her, if thats what she wants. I also dont know whether i can brake up with her. Been with her 18months, never loved anyone this much before.
well, if you really can't leave her, you need to try to reconcile the fact that she does this job and she isn't going to quit.
so try to work out what it is about the job you hate.
is it how other people see her? because the girl can't help that. perhaps she needs to make rent and this is the best paying job she can get. perhaps she knows it's harmless. perhaps it's the easiest job she ever had. and perhaps to her it's just a job.
but unless YOU see it the way she does, it's not going to work.
perhaps to you, it's important what other people think of you. and of her. that might be a fundamental incompatability between you - this job hasn't created that, it's merely revealed it.
because you know, your gf hasn't changed. she's the same person now as she was before she took this job. and a job is temporary. she's not going to be working there in 10 years.
but perhaps you think the jobs tells you something about her you didn't know before. this could be the case. perhaps this IS the person she has always been and you just never knew it. whatever the truth, she is happy with the job and won't quit it. that is the situation. if you can't deal with that, leaving her isn't a choice. it's a requirement of your feelings.
Not to be a snake in the grass....... but hell the position has to be filled by some "body"..... I mean heck I see it all over that men need porn and nothing wrong with these clubs...... what is the problem? Men only go there for fantasy..... it is not real.... nothing really happens...........
Honestly, If it hurts you that bad and she is aware that it hurts you it is wrong of her. Granted the money may be good and needed, but the choice is hers..... she can hurt you or not. You have different values is all.
If she takes the job knowing it bothers you, then drop her. She apparently dosen't care for what you feel and is a user.
But if that is the only job she can get, I shall sympathise for you and have no idea what to tell you.
Not to be a snake in the grass....... but hell the position has to be filled by some "body"..... I mean heck I see it all over that men need porn and nothing wrong with these clubs...... what is the problem? Men only go there for fantasy..... it is not real.... nothing really happens...........
Honestly, If it hurts you that bad and she is aware that it hurts you it is wrong of her. Granted the money may be good and needed, but the choice is hers..... she can hurt you or not. You have different values is all.
a4a
i agree...this is just the other side of the coin to guys looking at porn and going to stripclubs...only difference is, she's getting paid well and the guy is losing his cash...
It is the other side of the looking at porn and going to strip joints but she is making a profit from it.
Really it is just a job. She won't be doing it forever. The only real problem I see is getting caught up in the drug and booze scene. Also the money is good and it is very easy to spend it like it is water. Another thing she should think about is planning an exit. Making sure she has a proper education and job to go to when she is done with it.
How would you like it if someone told you not to take a job or else?
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Men only go there for fantasy..... it is not real.... nothing really happens...........
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