Spouses who say one thing to their spouse then say another behind their backs.
EX: my wife is a pig, never cleans if anything gets clean in my house I do it...... but in front of group says my wife is a neat freak, she takes good care of the house.
I could provide many more examples of my observations of comments made by several couples I know.
This is just a minor thing but I have been observing couples habits. Seems like many are living a sort of double life.
Do you do this with your SO? If so why? Is this common? Why do you think it is?
Well not everyone wants to air their dirty laundry in public.
I've known some couples who have little to no sex life and basically go about their business day to day like a couple of room-mates.
But in public they act very loving and affectionate.
The reason I know about the lack of sex life is because I was friends with one of them and heard about all the problems in private.
I have a girlfriend whose husband is doing a prison stint for a white collar crime. He's doing a year-and-a-half of time and not a single person at her job knows about it. She acts like her home life is perfectly fine.
If you want to live your life as an open book that's your choice. For other people, they feel it will reflect badly on them or they are too embarressed to say how they really feel.
An example I've seen is a near daily "I'm happy with you, I'm happy with life" and then one day they are handing you divorce papers, saying they were never happy with you.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
An example I've seen is a near daily "I'm happy with you, I'm happy with life" and then one day they are handing you divorce papers, saying they were never happy with you.
And this is why the 'strong silent type' of man who will never discuss a relationship or feeings is one to run far and fast from. That sort will never try to fix any problems. They just build up resentment and then leave.
Many women do this because they seem to just one day decide to up and leave. I would rather her just tell me the truth.
Speaking for myself, I can see my husband saying this one day. The problem is not that I haven't told him the truth. I've told him the truth repeatedly, that there are severe problems and I don't want to live like this for another 40years. The problem is that he refuses to hear the truth. He dismisses me as irrational and apparently thinks that actually solves the problem and gives us a happy marriage!
For the most part, I keep my feelings to myself in a relationship unless milady and I are having one of those "heart-to-heart" discussions. Otherwise, I shaddap, and for very good reason: It's been my experience that when I open up and share intimate details about what I'm feeling, it often gets used against me eventually. And that friggin HURTS.
So, I just avoid it. If I've got a problem, I'll just deal with it, fix it, then the feeling is gone and no one's the wiser.
Healthy? Probably not.
Now, to the OP point, I've never said one thing about milady in public and then another in person, that's just disgraceful IMHO. But I do know people who have done that, and it ALWAYS, ALWAYS comes back and bites them in the rump.
Speaking for myself, I can see my husband saying this one day. The problem is not that I haven't told him the truth. I've told him the truth repeatedly, that there are severe problems and I don't want to live like this for another 40years. The problem is that he refuses to hear the truth. He dismisses me as irrational and apparently thinks that actually solves the problem and gives us a happy marriage!
That is exactly what happened to me! He probably says, "I didn't know there was a problem" when I told him point blank and repeatedly.
I don't sugar coat nothing .. I tell him how i feel and always upfront and honest with my h!! I tell him what i am feeling and never say nothing behind his back that he don't already know!!
I've known some couples who have little to no sex life and basically go about their business day to day like a couple of room-mates.
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The problem is not that I haven't told him the truth. I've told him the truth repeatedly, that there are severe problems and I don't want to live like this for another 40years.
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