I don't come out here much, but I mentioned before that I am married.
I'm not. We live together as husband and wife, not commonlaw. We just consider it.
My question is... I'm on disability and I'm also on medicaid. I'll never be able to work. Michael, my fiancee/boyfriend, whatever you wanna call him, makes wayyyy too much money. If I marry him, I lose EVERYTHING! But he doesn't make enuff for both of us to live on. ( I buy the groceries and stuff for the house with my disablity. He pays the bills, house payment, etc.)
Both of us are VERY Christian people and we both feel guilty for just living together, and I know it's a huge sin in God's eyes. I don't wanna lose my money, though.
Any suggestions?
Both of us are VERY Christian people and we both feel guilty for just living together, and I know it's a huge sin in God's eyes. I don't wanna lose my money, though.
Who provides for all of us? God. Who can make the impossible, possible? God. Who should you place your faith in? God.
There was a man not tithing like he should. So the Pastor told him, "If you tithe your 10%, I'll make sure all of your bills get paid".....the man asked the Pastor, "You're willing to do that for me?", Pastor replied, "No, but God is, and He promised to do so".......
Marry him, legally and in front of God. Then live for Him. He'll take care of the rest!
__________________
"The conscience water saw it's maker, and blushed" - Water to Wine......
The answers you get will depend on how moralistic/ultra-right the people who answer you are. You have to decide for yourself which view of Christianity is valid: the one in which God's just waiting to punish you for the slightest transgression or the one in which God is loving and forgiving.
I don't come out here much, but I mentioned before that I am married.
I'm not. We live together as husband and wife, not commonlaw. We just consider it.
My question is... I'm on disability and I'm also on medicaid. I'll never be able to work. Michael, my fiancee/boyfriend, whatever you wanna call him, makes wayyyy too much money. If I marry him, I lose EVERYTHING! But he doesn't make enuff for both of us to live on. ( I buy the groceries and stuff for the house with my disablity. He pays the bills, house payment, etc.)
Both of us are VERY Christian people and we both feel guilty for just living together, and I know it's a huge sin in God's eyes. I don't wanna lose my money, though.
Any suggestions?
You may write a letter to your local representative of Congress or Parliament, or whatever, against any laws you do not like. However, if the institution of marriage is available, then you should get married, and trust God that your boyfriend will get a raise or a better job.
Pre-maritial sex and Extra-maritial sex is fornication according to the Bible. Common-law marriage is a form of 'serial monogomy' and is fornication. You are not on some island off the Pacific ocean somewhere with only you and your boyfriend, so that is out of the question.
If you want to listen to the other posters assaguate your conscience, that's fine, but if you want the cold hard truths, then you will have to marry.
Marriage is a civil union for the good of the state. It wasn't until the Middle Ages that the church became involved in marriage because conflicts over legitimate inheritance were disrupting society to the point where wars threatened others. Then clergy became involved in the rites because they were some of the few people who could read and write. It was at that point that the church realized it had some important things to say about marriage and began to think of marriage as a sacrament, around the 13th century.
You are not alone. There are several older people who simply can't afford to marry one another and live. They lose retirement income to marry, which means they have to make the decision over whether or not to buy food or medicine they need in order to live. It's not a matter of cutting back on luxuries but of survival. In those cases, some clergy are privately blessing unions with close friends and family. These rites aren't legal but recognize the desire to make covenant with one another, which is the basis of our true Judeo-Christian heritage, not some civil ceremony done on behalf of an oppressive state.
When the state's policies are such that they oppress to the point where people cannot do the moral thing and survive, ya gotta ask, what would Jesus do? He would challenge the social policies that impose such a dilemma on two people who want to be married in the eyes of God, and he would follow the higher law of God over against the state that crucifies. He might also judge those who would condemn you as somehow less religious, as we see with his angry actions against the Temple's moneychangers in John's gospel. He would also condemn greed, if that's a motivating factor.
Now, you've been given some ways of interpreting the situation as far as we understand it, which is limited to what you offer us. Only you and God know your hearts and situation in order to know what is the right thing to do. Read and study and pray for discernment.
But I was married before 6 years ago and my exhusband and I lost everything the week after we got married.
I DID have faith then that God would see us through.
We ended up having to sell our house and moved into a tiny apartment. We had a baby that couldn't even go to the doctor sometimes because all the money went towards the apt. and food.
That's why I'm so scared of getting married once again. We just bought a brand new house. I help him with $250 a month of my own money for the house payment. I'm on food stamps, too not Michael So if we get married Michael had to come up with $500 more a payday. And I have NO money for clothes. Michael makes $15/hour plus bonuses. And That's way too much money for me to keep my insurance and disablity.
A question: Back in biblical days, you did not need a marriage certificate to be considered married. What changed?
Back in biblical days, you did not need a marriage certificate to be considered married. What changed?
Social customs changed. There didn't used to be funerals, either. Nor bar mitvahs (sp?), or Christmas (though there was a Roman pagan festival that happened on Dec. 25, which was appropriated by Constantine as the birthday of Christ) or pretty much any Christian religous celebration.
But as the power of the Church grew to such an extent that the Church and State became one, they insisted on a social gathering or similar event to mark the big two passages in a person's life; namely, marriage and death.
So take from it what you will. Liberal thinkers like myself believe that a loving God would not damn you to hell without an ice maker because you didn't perform some sort of ceremony. Conservative thinkers believe that the ceremony is necessary before God sees you as duly joined.
Either way, the decision is yours, to be based on your personal beliefs in conjunction with the reality of your situation, which includes your finances.
And trusting God doesn't mean you have to check your brains and swallow everything the church tells you. The church is in an unholy bed right now with the state and doesn't see how it is compromised by that relationship.
At the same time I'm dissing society, I realize that marriage by the state extends certain protections that you will not have if you remain unmarried, protections that are good. I assume, for example, that the house is in your SO's name. That means if you break up, you get nothing. You're truly on your own.
if you're Christian, you'll understand that living together IS a sin, no matter how honest your intentions are. Under the law, you are not only living together, but are in a common-law marital relationship. For purposes of taxes, you're still single, though ... go figure.
I feel for you, being in a tough spot like that. My aunt and uncle would not get married because of potential loss of pension. I don't know if they just "dated" or actually lived together, but they finally did get married about 10 years ago when he and a group of his co-workers hit the state lottery. Otherwise, they'd still be in the same boat as you and your guy are.
I could tell you until I'm blue in the face what to do, but that isn't going to remedy anything when you're determined the thing to do is keep on keeping on as you are, simply because you'll be penalize for marrying. Best thing to do is to keep praying on this ... and to start buying lottery tickets
__________________ I think my favorite phrase at this moment is, "Shut your piehole!" It doesn't really refer to anything nasty, but it sure does sound rude.
But truth is, we all live in sin. Sin is an inescapable condition. Which is why we need grace. It doesn't sound like you're considering that grace to have you covered no matter what you do, which would be to consider Christ's sacrifice as no big deal. Are you seeking to live in such a way as to care for all others--especially the most vulnerable in the world, which the Bible is always talking about as being the basis on which our actions will be judged.
A question: Back in biblical days, you did not need a marriage certificate to be considered married. What changed?
Whatever constitutes an official marriage seems to have changed. However, as a rule of thumb, as long as the marriage is recognized by the law of the land, and my society as a whole, then it is indeed a marriage.
IF the law of the land says you just have to jump up and down together three times and say "we are married" in order to be married, then so be it. Each state, both now and throughout time, have different practises.
Whatever constitutes an official marriage seems to have changed. However, as a rule of thumb, as long as the marriage is recognized by the law of the land, and my society as a whole, then it is indeed a marriage.
IF the law of the land says you just have to jump up and down together three times and say "we are married" in order to be married, then so be it. Each state, both now and throughout time, have different practises.
They're not interested in whether they're married in the state's eyes, but in God's, though. I doubt you'd say that what the state says on the matter takes precedence over God, would you? Or is the state God?
Yes, the Bible tells us that marriage is an honorable estate and to hold it in high esteem. But it doesn't really tell us what constitutes that marriage. Is it the covenant made between the two in public? Is it physical union? Engaged couples could have sex in Mary and Joseph's day without problem. Jesus' admonition against divorce was to protect women who could be divorced for any reason just by having the man say to her, "I divorce you" 3 times, leaving the woman destitute and utterly reliant upon others for her life because as used goods she wasn't desirable to others who were honorable.
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