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Originally Posted by Malifecent
I'm having a hard time finding any of these. Any suggestions?
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this was a post from OZGIRL she suggests these books...
I have read a few books... well, more than a few... but in this order, these are books I highly recommend:
Not "Just Friends" - by Shirley P. Glass Ph.D
This woman is THE expert on explaining to anyone, being the MM, W or OW on how these extra-marital relationships start, what's going on for all parties whilst they're happening and the aftermath of the ending. It's brilliant... and she has researched this more than any other author I could find.
Facing Love Addiction - by Pia Mellody
This told me a LOT about myself - what kind of person I was to be "addicted" to someone who seemed to push into my life and float out again almost on a weekly basis. What needs in me this fulfilled, and how I fulfilled theirs. It also made me realise that despite the stories from MM that his W was very unattentive and so opposite to me... she probably was more like me than I'll ever get to see... but probably, the same kind of person as far as being the "addict" in the relationship (MM was the "love avoidant" to us both).
Men Who Can't Love - Steven Carter and Julia Sokol
Well, this book I read last - it's title made me think it was relevent. Afterall, he DID love me. I believe he did to this day. What he was, though, was a commitment phobic.... to both me and his wife... and the more I read this book... BOY did HE make sense to me. No matter who I could have been in his life, be it his spouse, lover, child, brother, sister, mother.. whatever... he IS who he IS... and that's someone who doesn't want to be alone, but can't give 100% commitment to anyone. THIS book is the one that stopped my tears. It stopped the pain. It will STOP me from having a relationship like this again myself. It's the book any W or OW should read... THEN see if you can honestly say he's commited to you.
Anyway, like I said, I shopped around and have bought at least another half dozen books on the subject of infidelity, and other various related topics, and I would like to hope that the money I wasted on the others was worth it if my posting here prompts anyone else to get these books. Please post if you have read them... I really do think that last one is at LEAST going to help you make an educated decision about your future.
Like it says....Recognise a Commitmentphobic Man BEFORE he Breaks your Heart.
) three case histories and examined them for symptomatic traits... The cases weren't really relevant to me or my situation, so I found it uninteresting and not very useful. Also, I thought the book was more about Tuch wanting to make a name for himself with a 'syndrome' than providing anything useful for someone involved in such a situation. Then again it doesn't set out to be a self-help book.
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