[jdiaz8785]

I have been dating this guy for a year and a couple of months and it has been going great truthfully. We talk about getting married and my parents even allow him to stay the weekends in our house. In March of last year I was in the hospital for a week and I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. He came and visted me all the time he even walked up eleven floors because the elevators were running really slow. I am just happy that we are working out in a good way.

Now here is where our problem comes in he has a three year old daughter and he loves her a lot. I think it is great to see them together and see how he actually is a great father. But it is like when she is around he wont call me or he will for five seconds, usually while I am asleep. I get pissed because he will call while I am asleep and want to have a conversation. Then if I am out with friends he expects me to pick up when he calls because we have not talked. I know he is helping with his daughter but even when she is taking a nap he wont call. I am starting to get mas because I know he can find time to call me. I have started to feel like everything should be on his time table and not mine as well. Then he get mad at me when I am mad at him and really rather not talk because I dont want to say anything wrong. Then we have this same fight all the time because I want to make things work but he never changes anything. I really am at a point where I want to do something to make him see what he is making me feel like. I need help I really love him and I want to try and make this work.

[bluechocolate]

Firstly, let me say I'm sorry to hear about your illness.

I get pissed because he will call while I am asleep and want to have a conversation.

So he does call you when he's with her. How is he to know that you're sleeping? It should simply be a matter of you saying 'I'm sleeping right now, I'll call you back when I get up'.

I'm assuming he's a part-time Dad. In which I can honestly understand how everyone else, yes including even you, takes a back seat when he's spending time with her. Are you included in some of the time he has with his daughter?

Then we have this same fight all the time because I want to make things work but he never changes anything.

What is it that you want him to change? There must be something more here than just the time he spends with his daughter.

[jdiaz8785]

I think I mostly get upset because we have no time together when she is around I want to be able to be around but he is going through this divorce. I want to be a good girlfriend and understand where he is going through and me trying to help him understand how to deal with her. She is a great child we just dont spend anytime together and I really am one of those people that can not express her emotions very well. I really want to make it work but I also want us to be more open with our relationship as well. I can not be around his daughter that much because we are an hour and a half away and I still have not been able to drive. Plus we do not want her to go back and tell her mother because her mother will start crap with him. I think that is another thing that bothers me we have been dating a year and we have to keep everything a seceret I think we should be able to not care anymore but I know that is a problem for him. I am trying but I am very attached to him and even his daughter and I wanted people to help me critizize myslef and learn to think from his position.

[jdiaz8785]

I forgot to tell you thank you for what you said about my disease and I really appreciate it because its good to know that there are very nice people in the internet world. Thank you a lot and you made me search within myself to see the real answers

Jdiaz

[bluechocolate]

The divorce & keeping things secret from his soon to be ex-wife must really put a strain on things, for both of you. Your needs & concerns are certainly important, but if things are otherwise fine between you two then you should try to be his port in a storm (at least until he gets the divorce settled - then you can really wail on him! ).

p.s. you've been dating for a year & a couple of months. Why is his divorce taking so long?

[jdiaz8785]

His divorce has taken so long because his soon to be ex-wife really doesnt want to lose his money. She decided after we were talking that she wanted to try and make their marriage work and he told her that he had found something a million times better. Then she finally realized that he wants this divorce and nothing more than that so she decided to file for divorce in North Carolina because it takes longer there than it does in Virginia so she is getting here way again. I do love him very much and I am trying to make it work and he is not going to let me go by the looks of it because he refuses to lose me, his words. I love him and I will wail on him later but I know I will have that chance because I really have relaized that I want to stay with him and I am not going to lose a really good man. Man he is great because when I got sick he got me a laptop to try and keep me in school, he has helped me pay for school, he understands that me being hispanic he has to do certain things to keep my parents from being disappointed in us, he gave me a promise ring because he wanted me to know how much he wanted to be with me and how much he respected my family, and there are so many things that he does for me and my family that I appreciate him and my father and mother loves him a ton. He's great and I know he is going to be with me because I wont let him go at least until he makes me. I think that I have my own issues and they all stem from this medication and the depression that comes along with it. Thanks a lot you made me realize my craziness as well.
Jdiaz